Under His Hoodie

Chapter 45

I panicked. Dapat nagpapahinga siya!

"Mommy, dapat nagpapahinga ka ngayon!" She forced a smile. Parang pinipiga ang puso ko dahil doon.

"It's okay, honey. I am fine..."

No! You weren't!

She stood up when the doctor came inside. Nakangiti ito ngunit hindi ko ito magawang suklian. Hindi ko alam kung paano. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko.

"Congrats Ms. Angeles. You're almost one month pregnant."

I was speechless even I already knew it beforehand. Imbis na matuwa ay bumuhos lamang ang aking luha. Agad akong dinaluhan ni mommy. Yumuko ang doctor bago umalis.

"M-mommy, I-I can't raise this child. I'm still young..."

Then she hugged me tightly. "Sssh, we will raise the child together, okay?"

Umiling ako. Nalulunod pa rin sa sariling luha. "Natatakot ako...natatakot ako sa sasabihin ng ibang tao. And those are going to reflect on you. H-hindi ko po kaya...Hindi..."

Marami na kaming problemang kinakaharap ngayon. Ayokong dumagdag pa ito sa mga problema namin. But I didn't want to abort the baby. And I also knew mommy wouldn't agree to such a mad thing.

Then mommy and I made a pact.

She was caressing my hair the other day. Tulala lamang ako habang nakikinig sa mga sinasabi niya.

"Just bear in mind that you're carrying your brother inside your womb," she said. "And not your son. Ipagbubuntis mo 'yan at papalakihin bilang kapatid. Naiintindihan mo ba ako, Hellary?"

Kahit hindi ko maintindihan. I slowly nodded my head.

"No one will judge you. No one will judge us," dagdag pa nito. "It's your brother and not your son. Naiintindihan mo ba ako?"

Then we sold our mansion so we could live without working outside. The money that we had was only enough for years. We needed to work to earn for the future. We bought an apartment away from people so I could hide my pregnancy. I couldn't afford people to know that I was pregnant. And the father of the child that I was carrying was gone. That will only reflect in mommy's image. Lugmok na nga ang lahat kaya hindi ko hahayaan ang mangyari iyon.

Naniniwala ako na makababangon pa kami ulit. So, I at least needed to protect mommy's image to the corporate world.

"M-mom, are you crying?" I asked one time when I noticed her crying in the middle of the night.

Nakita kong mabilis niyang pinahid ang kaniyang luha. "No, no. I'm fine. Napuwing lang ako."

I thought she was really fine. Days had passed, and that continued. Nagaalala na ako. Mahina ang puso niya kaya dapat niyang iwasan ang maging emotional.

Madalas ko rin siyang nakikitang umiinom ng alak. Kaya palagi ko siyang sinasaway dahil makasasama iyon sa kalusugan niya.

Months had passed, and the baby bump was already visible. Isang buwan na lang ay kabuwanan ko na. I was supposed to be happy, yes. Ngunit hindi ko magawa. Dahil habang patagal nang patagal ay napapansin kong pahina nang pahina si mommy.

I told her that she should visit a doctor, ngunit lagi siyang tumatanggi. She told me that all the money left was for the hospital expenses for my delivery. She thought things so advanced that I couldn't cope up.

"I'm good, anak. You don't have to worry yourself..."

At nang dumating ang araw ng panganganak ko ay halos hindi ko kayanin. It was so hard. Pero ginawa ko. Kinaya ko.