to all the boys i've loved before (nct dream)

t h i r t e e n

(hello! i hope this is a good chapter teehee

warnings: a tiny bit of swearing:/)

y/n's pov
before i knew it, monday had arrived. which meant we all had to do our gross morning schedule; waking up at 6:45am, someone taking too long in the shower and getting ready, which meant we were in a rush to get to school. as usual.

while i entered the halls, i met up with minji and talked about our weekends. as i was telling her about chenle and i's hangout, chenle, the man himself, came up to me.

"hey, um- sorry minji, can i just talk to y/n for a little bit? alone?" the boy asked hesitantly with his hands behind his back. minji nodded before walking off to see her friends from her english class.

"hi chenle." i smiled. "hey, y/n. thank you so much. i appreciate it, really, i do. i'm kind of in an awkward state right now since my girlfriend back in china broke up with me before i decided to come back here." he said.

"oh, i'm sorry about that. uh, when you said you 'appreciated' something, what do you mean?" i questioned out of confusion. "i appreciate the letter you gave me."

what letter?

"letter? i haven't given you anything?" i asked, feeling my heart beat faster and my cheeks turn red. "this letter." chenle said, putting the white envelope with 'zhong chenle' written in yellow marker on it, causing me to look down in embarrassment.

oh my god. this can't be happening, it really can't. this is a dream. no one except minji knows about my letters, not even johnny. how could they be out though? i never gave her the box to physically touch, so it can't be her.

as i look up at his face again, i begin to feel light headed and dizzy as my hand touches the side of my head. before i could say anything, my knees buckled weakly as i fell to the ground.

here i am, lying on the ground, eyes shut in the middle of the empty-ish hallway. i thought i passed out completely, but all i could hear chenle's voice?

"whoa-whoa! y/n? are you okay? y/n, wake up please. wake up. wake up!" the boy said louder, shaking my slightly, causing me to open my eyes slowly. "are you okay? do you need anything?" he asked, slowly helping my sit up. i shook my head as a response before looking past him seeing jaemin. he began to look around, as if he was searching for something. quickly, our eyes met and he smiled brightly and began to walk towards me and chenle.

i looked down at his hand to see the letter i had written for him. great, not only one letter is out, all of them are out.

"oh my god."
"what? what's wr-"
"oh my god." i said before cupping chenle's face and pressing my lips to his lips. feeling the way he flinched, he didn't expect me to do that.

"students! stop that! you are at school!" i heard a teacher scowl at us, causing me to pull away. "thank you." i said quickly before standing up and running past jaemin and his calls, running to the side of the building.

"hey y/n, you okay?" i heard jisung's voice call softly. "huh- oh, hi jisung." i said, breathless from running. "i just wanted to make sure you're okay, i saw you run out here with a red face." the boy explained, pushing his glasses further up his nose only to fall lower. "oh. thanks jisung. i just needed some air." i said, far too embarrassed to explain what the fuck just happened inside.

"i also wanted to give you this. it seemed a little personal, so i thoight you'd want it back." jisung added, slowly pulling out the letter i had written for him. i mumbled a quiet 'well shit' under my breath. "it's nice that you decided to write all of this down when we were younger but i just wanted you to let you know... you know i'm gay, right?"

no. no i did not.

"y-yes! yes, yes i did." i smiled, trying to cover up the FACT THAT I DIDNT KNOW THAT. "but don't tell anyone or anything," he paused as i nodded, "it's- you know, i'm out, my mum knows, my dad kind of knows, its just..."

"high school." we both said.