Pulse

Us and them

It had been a month since Harry started living with Louis, and he loved every second of it, except, Louis treated him like he was made of porcelain. Sometimes he felt like a child in his own house. Louis would be so careful and so overprotective, he couldn't deal with it anymore. Especially in the love department, he just wanted things to be like how they were.

They were laying on the couch, Louis was watching some show about a self-loathing horse that used to be famous or something, he was looking for a job on his phone.

That's right, he now knew what a phone was, after a very embarrassing talk with Louis he figured it out and borrowed money so he could get one for himself. The first week drove Louis completely insane. Harry would bombard him with emojis and game invites, he's calmed down now though, only occasionally sending a frog emoji his way.

He huffed and pushed himself up, planting his lips on Louis' neck.

Louis sighed contently, "feels good, doll".

Harry continued and traced his outline through his joggers.

"Haz", Louis pulled away.

Harry just groaned.

"You know it's dangerous".

"Everything is dangerous according to you".

"Because it is, do you even realise what kind of injuries you have?"

"Fully aware since I lived it, but thanks for reminding me".

"Harry", Louis' voice softened.

"Do you not want me anymore?" Harry sniffled, "have I become a child to you? Someone you need to take care of 24/7 and nothing more?"

"Harry no, that's not it at all", Louis said, confused as though why Harry would even think something like that. "I'm just scared of hurting you".

Harry wiped a tear away, "I feel ugly".

Louis' heart shattered into a million pieces.

"I'm ugly and my body is ruined and I hate that I'm so fucking tired all the time".

"Baby, please", Louis whispered, "just lay down, take a nap, I promise we'll talk about this once you wake up".

"Please just hold me".

Louis laid back behind him , feeling him fall asleep on his chest and looking at him with a painful expression on his face, he hated that Harry felt like this, hated that he's the one that made him feel like this. He was gonna have to be the one to fix it.

He tried focussing on his show again as his hands ran through Harry's curls, that's when his boy started whimpering and kicking his legs.

"No, no, no, no", he heard crying whimpers coming from him, "please, God, please".

He shot up, screaming.

Louis cupped his cheeks and tried to calm him down. "Shh, you're safe, it's okay, I'm here, nothing can hurt you", he kissed his forehead, "you're just in our apartment love, you're safe".

Harry looked around with blurry vision, he made eye contact with Louis and broke down.

Louis rubbed his back and whispered sweet nothings in his ear.

"I can't lose you, I don't want to lose you".

"You're not gonna lose me, angel".

"You died, we were on the boat and the lightning came and we were in the water suddenly and I couldn't see you anymore", Harry cried, "you took your last breath in front of me, you died".

Louis wiped the tears from his eyes, "I'm here now, I'm okay", he grabbed Harry's hand and placed it over his heart, "feel that?"

"Yea", Harry whispered, nodding his head, "we're okay".

Louis kissed his forehead, "I love you, Haz".

Harry hugged him tight, "I love you".

Harry's trauma was as much of a struggle as his body. Every little thing could set him off. Of course, bad weather was the worst for him, which was unfortunate because they lived in England, but things like movies needed a triple check from Louis ever since they tried watching the little mermaid and Louis completely forgot about the ship sinking.

Harry wiped his eyes again, "I'm sorry", he whispered.

"Nothing to be sorry about, Haz".

He shrugged, "do you never feel like I'm a burden on you? You can be honest".

"Never", Louis shook his head, "absolutely never, it's hard sometimes, and I wish I could magically cure you cause I hate seeing you like this, but you'll never be a burden to me".

"You won't grow tired if I never get better?"

"Never gonna grow tired of you".

Harry smiled at him, pecking his lips.

"How'd looking for a job go?"

"Alright I suppose, there's not many wheelchair accessible places, but I found some and I think I'm the right candidate".

Louis nodded, "we'll burn a candle for you tonight, manifest that job into your life".

Harry chuckled before getting serious, "can we talk about it?"

He sighed.

"Louis come on, you can't tell me you don't want it as well".

"Of course I want it, but I'd never forgive myself if I hurt you".

"You're not gonna hurt me".

"How do we know you're ready for something like that?"

Harry shrugged, "ask Paul".

"I'm not gonna ask Paul if I can stick it in yet", Louis snorted.

"Okay, if he says I've made progress next time, can we try?"

"I suppose we can try, but with a lot of talk beforehand".

Harry stuck his tongue out, "better do the talking now cause I'm gonna jump you the second I get the verdict".

"You can't even jump".

Harry playfully slapped his arm, but for the next hour or so, they talked about all of the safety measures they were going to take.