Pulse

Sorrow

Harry woke up feeling like absolute shit that morning. He couldn't believe his personal little paradise was leaving him. He knew the day would come, it was just too soon, too early. Where would his reason to wake up in the morning go? His reason to breathe? The reason he didn't die that day, was it all for nothing? Was it all some cruel joke from God? He didn't trust himself, knew that if this boy left him, he'd go back to his old ways, if not, even worse. Nevertheless, he helped him. Day after day he built that boat, day after day, he fell asleep in this mans arms, pretending everything was okay, like his heart didn't shatter everytime that stupid boat came up in conversation.

There were nights where he wanted to sneak out of bed and smash every single piece of wood on that boat, smash it all into dust, but that wouldn't be fair. Sunshine deserved to go home, deserved to see his family and friends again. Deserved the life Harry would never have.

A tear escaped from his eye as he watched the guy sleep, he should really stop doing that, but it was so hard when he looked so peaceful. "I love you", he whispered, praying sunshine didn't hear him, before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. A smile appeared on his face and Harry fell in love all over again. His heart grew 10 sizes with every breathe sunshine took, the world could be on fire and he would still be drowning in those eyes, he hated this island, hated that he couldn't leave, hated that he told people his name when they won't even talk to him. He could've joined sunshine, go to one of the bigger cities and start a life with him there, but no, he's stuck on a fisherman's island with nothing to do.

Sunshine wrapped his arms tighter around him, nuzzling into his neck, "Haz", he whispered, "go back to sleep".

"Trying".

"Try harder, you're too comfortable to lay on, don't sit up".

Harry smiled and laid back down, relishing in the feeling of this boy pressed against him, he loved breathing in his scent, felt so safe and protected. He knew it sounded weird, this was his hometown and he shouldn't feel scared, sunshine should be the one freaking out, but his world had always been a bit upside down, and this was just another example of that.

He felt sunshine's hand slip under his shirt, running it over his chest before settling on his ribs. "You're so warm", he whispered. The hairs on Harry's neck raised as his hot breathe travelled across it. "Gonna miss cuddling you everyday".

"Me too", Harry sighed, placing his hand over sunshine's, "not gonna miss your snores though".

"Hey!" Sunshine yelled in fake offence, "I don't snore".

"Baby, I thought there was a bear in my home the first night".

"Baby?"

"I, I mean, uhm", Harry stuttered.

Sunshine opened his eyes and smiled, "you're cute when you blush".

All that did was make Harry blush harder.

"Didn't know we were on nickname terms though".

"We are", Harry nodded, "I've just decided".

"Hmm okay babydoll, angel, sweetheart, love, baby, babe".

Harry kissed him quiet, "weirdo".

"Was trying them all out to see which one fits the best".

"And what's the verdict?"

"Sweetcheeks".

"Sweetcheeks?"

"Yea, Sweetcheeks".

Harry wrapped his legs around his waist and kissed him deeply. He could lay there and kiss him for hours and hours on end. In fact, that's what he was going to do today.

The rain trickled on the windows as both boys shared kiss after kiss, running their fingers through each other's hair and exploring each other's skin. Harry was trying his best to remember every part of sunshine's body, was going to need it if he ever wanted to recover from this heartbreak.

"I'm leaving tomorrow I think", sunshine whispered.

And Harry couldn't control the sob that left his throat, sunshine held him through it, petted his hair and wiped his tears every couple seconds, pressed kisses to his back and whispered soothing 'I know's'.

"Please", he sobbed, "please I can't go on without you".

"You're a strong boy Haz, I know you can".

Harry shook his head, "can't".

Sunshine continued holding him, "yes you can, and you're gonna start actually living from now on, and you're gonna have an amazing life, we're both gonna, and then, in like 50 years or so, we'll tell our grandchildren about each other".

Harry hugged him tight, "please stop talking and just hold me, wanna pretend you're mine for just a couple more hours".

"I'm yours forever".