Reason of Every Why

Korea 20

Before I could turn off my phone, Donny called.

"Shar, where are you?"

"I'm...I'm..."

"Are we not having lunch together?"

"I think you have to eat your lunch alone today, I just have to visit someone I know."

"But it's not in your schedule."

"It's emergency. I was not able to call you."

"Okay, take care."

"Thank you..." I told him. I want to say he should take care of himself but he's no longer on the line.

Being in Korea is like accepting to be the successor of my dad. But I know many will be against it especially that I am a girl so I have to avoid being involved in it.

But at the airport, I saw one of the directors,

"Sharlene Shin, you're back. I heard you're studying abroad."

"Good morning director. Excuse me but I have to go."

"I'm going to your house, come on let's go."

"Thank you, but Dad said I have to wait for our driver."

"Okay," he then said.

Driver's dad took so long to pick me up at the airport.

I got angry.

"Why only now? Do you know I'm in a hurry?"

"I'm sorry, I forgot the key of your house."

"I'm not going to stay there, bring me to So Hyun's house. And besides, who told you I don't have a key in my house?"

"Your dad told me, he said you might forgot to bring."

"Don't waste any more time, I have to be there the soonest."

Then I called So Hyun.

"I'm on my way to your house."

"Shar, are you really coming?"

"I told you, see you within 12 minutes."

"Okay."

At their house, So Hyun is waiting for me.

"Mom told me, we can't go there. Mom requested a private funeral. It was not even announced in the public."

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"Dad is still alive in the eyes of the people. Mom said, I should not grieve too much."

But then she hugged me.

"I didn't see Dad for the last time," she told me and she cried.

"How's aunt?"

"She seem to be strong. She's holding back her tears."

"But why it has to be that way? Why do you need to keep it secret?"

"I don't understand yet, but I have to act as if I understand everything."

I don't know how she feels, I can only comfort her. I feel suspicious why his father's death is not announced publicly.

I went home after visiting So Hyun. It's 9 pm. I hope Dad is at home but he's not.

"Shar ah," the nannies called my name happily.

I wonder why they seem to be very excited to see me at home.

I smiled. "Don't worry, I'm going to my house tonight. I just came to say hello."

"Shar ah, are you not really going to sleep here?" our head nanny asked.

"I would like to but I have to visit my house as well."

"Geulona igeos-eon ttohan dangshin-ui jib ibnida," {But this is also your house.}"

I looked around.

"If this is our house, mom and dad should also be here," I told myself.

"I have my own reason why I can't stay here halmoni."

"Kurae?"

"Ne."

"Kureom," halmoji said and did not stop me.

Before I go, I hugged halmoni, I also missed her. She saw me as I grew, she was the one who was always there as I am growing. I felt dropping tears at my back as granny hugged me. I tried to hold back my tears. I can't cry. She shouldn't see me crying. I know she worries a lot for me.

Then, mom called me, she told me to drop by at the hospital.

I am not comfortable there so I asked mom to meet at the nearest cafè instead.

"Shar ah, why you didn't told me you're going home?"

"I'm in a hurry, I'm sorry I didn't inform you."

"Mom is asking if you could visit her one time," mom said.

I realized I have a grandmother at the province of Bulacan.

"I...I don't..."

"I already called your nanay, she will drive for you."

"Eomma," I called mom.

"Wae?"

"I asked Halmoni and she said you haven't go home yet for many weeks, are you that busy?"

"Uh, (yes)" she replied.

"Eomma, even if you're very busy, at least try to go home, your house is a place to rest."

"Have you talked to your dad?"

"Not yet," I answered.

"Do you want to visit him?"

I nodded.

"Come on, let's go there."

I felt relieved. I feel like mom is with me.

As we enter Shin Law Firm all eyes are upon us.

They welcome us even if we didn't inform our visit.

I felt how uncomfortable mom is.

I just realized that mom is not comfortable being surrounded with people who see her highly. But because of me, she's trying to conquer how she feels though it is obvious.

Dad is surprised to see us in his office.

Mom and I brought some food. We ate together.

"How's your studies?" Dad asked.

"I'm doing good dad," I replied.

"Did you just see the whole firm? This will be yours if you're going to do your best," Dad told me.

"Dad, what if I will just stay in the Philippines?"

"Shall I stop you now from going there?"

I was shocked.

"Anya appa. Of course I'm going back here," I told him immediately.

Then eomma laughed. Dad too. Then I too laughed.

"Shar ah, are you that afraid not to return?"

I smiled.

"Please let me have my name first before coming back here," I answered dad in my mind.