This Book Belongs To Melody (GxG)

Entry Six

It's a fox. Almost.

It didn't take long to find it, surprisingly.

It was just sitting there, resting along a thick tree.
Staring into the distance.
I thought perhaps it hadn't seen me until it got up, moving so quickly in one smooth, hypnotizing motion.

And then it locked eyes with me, it's body was coiled, tense and tight.

It was seconds away from bolting, disappearing again, for god knows how long.

I talked to it, my voice only a bit louder than a whisper.

"It's alright little one, I won't hurt you." and other niceties.

I stared into its eyes, they were like amber, but they never stayed still.
None of it did.
It's whole body just kept twisting and shrinking and growing and dancing.
It's whole body was aflame.

It didn't blink,  only stared at me warily.

Unmoving.
Probably not even breathing.

"Are you as lonely? As pathetic? Can you even tell where you are? I wonder.
I've been here for so long, I have no sense of time anymore either.

Everything that differed me from you is gone now, you know."

I monologued to it.

When words start, they don't quickly stop.
Not when it comes to me at least.

"I had a family,  a job, a job I hated, but a job nonetheless.
Never go into accounting, dear, it'll make you want to gouge your eyes out.

I wasn't often miserable though.
Most of the time I was far from it.

The bad times were horrible, but the good? They made it feel like nothing bad could ever happen again.

I'll probably never feel that way again, will I?

I'm going to miss every Christmas,  every birthday.

I'm going to miss my daughter's wedding day, her graduation.

I'll never meet my grandchildren.

Every waking moment I'm here is hell for that reason alone.

And all I have now is what? Grass.
Grass and trees.

It's all so pathetic."

I can't seem to stop crying today, can I?

Anyway, it didn't run.

I'm not sure if it understood me or if it could sense my misery or what, but it stayed there.

It didn't relax at all, but it stayed.

And it listened.

So, I talked.

I talked, for hours, probably. I talked until i fell asleep, and when I woke up it was gone.

This time, I am almost sure it wasn't a hallucination.

I'm very tired.

More tired than I have been in more days than I could count.

But now, now I feel awakened.

Incensed.

What's my next move? Are there even any moves to make? How can I find it again? Is it all that remains here? Will it listen to my ramblings for hours at a time again?

I'd pay it to do so if I had money.
If it had any need for money.

I have time to figure it out, I suppose, but like I've said, time is not a friend of patience.