Untameable (BWWM)

Chapter 24

I shrugged. "I don't think much would have changed in regards to careers. My professional goal has always been to own the store and I achieved that without him. As for romance... Honestly, I'm so picky and standoffish. If Grant hadn't come along, I would probably still be single. Men in general are terrified of me. And too many black men have zero patience for strong self reliant black women like myself so I would probably become one of those women who are so excruciatingly lonely that their unhappiness and bitterness is abundant in every facet of their lives."

"Probably. You wouldn't be putting the 'sing' in single. You be putting the 'Miss' in miserable."

"Unfortunately so. But I was so headstrong and determined to find someone like me. Attractive, young, smart, no criminal record, problack, sane—"

"You consider yourself problack?"

"Of course I do. My identity revolves almost entirely around my black pride. Why would I consider myself anything less than?"

"Hm," she nodded. "I suppose everyone's interpretation of problackness is different. However, I have never considered black people who date and marry outside of their race to be problack."

"Excuse me, bitch?!"

"Watch your mouth in my office. Now, in my own personal opinion, problackness is the idea of rebuilding the black community and supporting each other's success in a world that wants to see us fail. I feel that maintaining a heathy black family image is a major part of that. The black community is on the brink of rupture as it has been ripped apart, pieced together with Elmer's glue, and eventually put into a blender. So the lack of unity and community is more than abundant. Especially when it comes to black families. It is engrained in American ideology that black people are so dysfunctional that we can't even maintain a familial structure. When black people date outside of their race and pour into their nonblack spouses than the rest of the community, it just proves that even further."

"Now you just wait a God damn minute," Grant spoke up. "It sounds to me like you got something against interracial relationships. And if that's the case, why the fuck are you even our therapist?"

"My daughter-in-law is white and I love her to death," Doctor Wilde confirmed calmly. "So I do not have anything against interracial love. With that being said, I don't consider my son to be problack although he says differently. Since this term of problackness has been floating around the internet through articles and different topics of discussion, my opinion remains that those who are not investing their whole selves into black empowerment are not problack."

I rolled my eyes. "So what you're saying is, that because I'm with a white man that I'm no longer investing into black empowerment? What a fucking joke. Grant was literally the first man who showed romantic interest in me since I've become an adult. That goes for all races. I just said if he hadn't come along, I would probably still be single. So you're one of those people who think black women should 'wait' for her black kang while black men are out here living it up with all the dainty non-black princesses of the world? Loni Love was supposed to wait? Serena Williams was supposed to wait? Is that what you're telling me?"

"Not at all," she said remaining composed. "Again, this isn't a negative sentiment about interracial relationships. Think of it this way. When you two have children, your children will be biracial. If your biracial offspring procreate with white people, those children will be white. Thus defeating the purpose of problackness in it's entirety. Love who you love but do it at the expense of your own beliefs and what you fight for. You can't eat your cake and have it to."