When Death Falls

Fun Times

†Fun Times†

†Samael P.O.V†

Leaving that girl in that hospital bed was hard. She was fun. She was all sweaty and had that terrorized look on her face. Yeah, leaving was hard. It would have been fun times to keep fúcking with her with her family there. Especially as they could not see me. Hmmm. There was always later.

A death angel's work is never done though. So many souls, so little time. That burning across my palm became a heavy weight. Fúcking hell! Take a few hours off to make a pretty girl scream and the shït piles up. I unrolled it to find a shìt load of names. Good news for me. Some black cards. Looks like I just had a couple of new recruits. Unless they didn't want the job. That would kind of suck for me. It would suck worse for them. At least with me they work for a bit, then they get to enjoy the less suckish parts of Hell.

I shifted the names I could, because seriously, I had better things to do. I took off after the first black card name. A man. He had lost his job, and he didn't want to tell his family. So instead he chose to swallow a bullet. I looked at his non responsive lump of flesh then at the grey spirit just standing there. Seriously, stupid reason to off yourself. Stupid man. Did I want Señor Stupid working for me? Nah. On the other hand, I didn't want to have to do a bunch of this crap myself. Maybe he was only temporarily stupid. It happens. Not to me, I'm amazing. Other people though.

I scanned him, just to see, and he was actually a smart man. Pride bringing out the stupid. He'll do just fine. I walked to the grey soul and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Wow." I winced looking down on him in mock sympathy. "You sure made a hell of a mess." I walked around his corpse staring at the pretty pattern on the wall behind him. Very surreal.

"They're better off without me." The soul whispered. This had me laughing my ass off. It really did. Pride, it can make the smartest man stupid as shìt.

"Oh yeah. They will be. Paying for this cleanup job, leaving your wife and kids broke before Christmas. Yeah, they're much better off." I sarcastically agreed. He seemed to perk up then.

"The life insurance will take care of that. The house automatically gets the mortgage waived off I die." The spectre defended himself, that pride if his coming through. I was going to have to break that.

"You're such a dumbass." I said low. I walked up to him and put my face close to his. "That life insurance won't pay off squat but maybe the funeral. Read the fine lines àsshole. They don't pay for suicides. That mortgage crap only pays off if you don't off yourself. So you screwed your precious family six ways to Sunday." I walked off to the wall where the pretty blood spatter was. I studied it like it was fine art. I didn't need to see the look of horror and regret on his face. They all had that same look. It gets old.

"At least I will see them again." He sighed. I scoffed at that. Not even bothering to face him. Hmm. Did that pattern look like Mira straddling a man?

"Nah, you won't." I looked closer and my brain decided to add even more detail. Mira straddling me. That was hot.

"What do you mean? You're taking me to Heaven right?" Douche dude said. I put a cig in my mouth and lit it, finally turning to him. He tried looking at me all pissy. Maybe he was trying to intimidate me. Pfft. See? Douche. Dude. I blew the smoke in his face, and chuckled when he coughed and waived it off. Funny that. He can't breathe, yet he coughs. So fúcking funny.

"Nope. You see, by committing suicide, you can never be forgiven. God has a pesky rule about that. Never lightens up." I just smoked and watched my favorite show. When Dumbasses Become Smart. It's hysterical. Should totally be on Primetime. "Now, I'm going to give you your options." I flicked the cigarette away and marched around to the feet of the corpse. "See, you have three options the way I see it." Huh. He had some nice shoes.