Red

23

I sit there crying as Van holds my hand. "I want to know what happened," I mumble. I use my free hand go grab the bottom on my shirt and wipe my eyes.

Van's grip on my hand tightens and he takes my other hand in his own, slowly bringing it down so my shirt covers my stomach again. "Tris," he breathes out. "You don't have anything to worry about. Not as long as you listen to me." Van's eyes were hard and I knew it would be better if I just agreed with him, followed him back to the plane, and did as he wanted me to. But I had to know what was going on.

"I want to...have something to worry about," I sniffle. My statement sounded more like a question.

Van's smirk returns. "I'll give you something to worry about if you don't do what I tell you to do," his voice was extra quiet, but I still heard every work he spoke.

My heart starts to beat faster and my palms become clammy. Van seemed to always do that to me, I'm always nervous when I'm near him, or when he speaks, or even when he just looks at me. I hope he didn't notice the effect he had on me. I wasn't exactly sure what he meant by giving me 'something to worry about', but I had a feeling it would be better if I didn't question him any more. I swallow the lump on my throat and don't say anything.

"How about you be the good girl you say you are? Let's not do this childish act right now," he says.

I shut my eyes tight. There was something in me that wanted to go with Van, not give him any trouble, and more importantly, not get in any trouble. But, I also wanted to stand my ground. There was no reason that I shouldn't know what was going on just like everybody else.

I must have been thinking for too long because before I can tell Van anything, he picks me up, one hand supporting my back and the other under my bum. I open my eyes and look at Van as he walked us back to the plane.

He looked tired. The bags under his eyes were dark and his eyes were barely open. It was because he slept outside with me, I'm sure of it. It wasn't possible to get quality sleep while you're outside. I probably looked just as bad, if not worse, and I couldn't help but feel a little apologetic. He stayed out there for me, he sacrificed his sleep for me.

"I can walk," I say, wanting him to put me down. It's a little embarrassing having someone who's only a few years older than me carry me around. Most people were preoccupied with their own thoughts or conversations when I looked around, but I got a few strange looks.

"Maybe you should have done that instead of sitting there doing nothing then, hm?" Van says, making me roll my eyes. He couldn't see me, though. I wouldn't dare roll my eyes in front of him, not right now. He groans and adjusts me on his waist. I wrap my legs around him tighter, scared that he would accidentally drop me even though I knew he was strong enough to carry me.

Van sets me down on the plane. He stands in the doorway with his hands on each side of the entrance as if he was trying to make sure I wouldn't run away from him. I wouldn't. There would be no use. I was way too slow to even think about running away from Van, and I don't know if I would want to run away from him even if I could escape. As much as he got on my nerves, there were some moments with him where he was soft, where he let me be vulnerable.

"Go on," he nods his head in the way of my bed where my clothes were. "You need to get changed."

I hesitate at first, but then walk to my bed. Van was following close behind me. He picks up his sweatpants from where they were sprawled out of the ground and holds them out for me, expecting me to grab them.

"They're too hot," I pout and cross my arms. "I'd melt if I went in those all day," I exaggerate.

Van raises his eyebrows, giving me that look. The look that made my stomach flip and my cheeks flush. I knew there would be no changing his mind. "Tris, listen to me," he starts, his voice deep and quiet. "I have two other things to worry about today, one being that leg of yours. I really do not have time for this."

"What's the other thing?" I ask. It still bugged me that everyone else knew except me. If Van wanted me to do what he wanted, he was going to have to explain to me what was going on.

"I'm going to get it all taken care of, princess. Don't even think about it. Anyway, the planes not terribly hot, is it? I want you staying on the plane today," Van says.

I look up at him slowly, my eyes filling with tears again. "I'm not a child," I mumble and take the sweatpants he was holding, throwing them on the floor after. I almost immediately regretted doing it, but I didn't want to stay on the plane while everyone else was outside. I'd be bored out of my mind.

"I never said you were," Van says sharply. His jaw clenches and I can tell he is trying his best not to yell at me, trying not to make a huge scene in front of the other people on the plane. He leans down and picks up the sweatpants again. "I'm telling you one more time, Tris. Put the sweatpants on." He takes a couple steps closer to me and grabs the waist of my jean shorts. "Or do I have to do it myself?"