church of burnt romances || ls

1.

Journeys end in lovers meeting.

On his 11 hours flight from Heathrow airport to LAX, Louis had a lot of time to think, to regret. Contemplating on throwing himself off the plane every once in a while. Even cursing the day he was born once or twice because if it weren't for that day, he wouldn't be alive to be in the position he was in right now.

He tried to come to terms with what was going to come, trying to rationalise his thoughts and fears. He didn't even know what he was scared of, it wasn't like he had anything to lose anymore.

With the talk of a one direction reunion surfacing the internet ever since they broke up actually, their management finally decided it was time for a reunion. Louis didn't know if he was supposed to feel excited about it or dread the day he even went for the auditions.

Now that it was all said and done, the announcements were made, the contracts were signed, the meetings had been attended by everyone except for Louis. He avoided every meeting that consisted of getting together -which was kind of inevitable but Louis wasn't ready for that thought.

He knew he couldn't avoid meeting them, or him, in particular but he went to extends to perhaps drag the time a bit longer. Louis didn't care what image he was protruding by his 'bossy and bitchy attitude' – according to Simon Cowell. He simply couldn't find it in him to face Harry.

Upon managing to wiggle his way out of all the meetings that were held in a group and getting the details over on the call by either from Simon himself or someone from the management, his luck had run out and his lucky stars had bursted into thin air.

Despite making almost every excuse there was out there to not attend this meeting too, Simon simply wouldn't have it, which lead to a 15 minute long argument with words thrown around, along with facts and figures, contracts, numbers, names and Louis' ego. It was like a painful game of dodgeball, with every word that stroke, each hitting harder than the last one. By the end of the phone call, Louis was certain that he was doomed.

He could practically see his own funeral at that point. The depts of grave would've been better than the depths of shit he currently was in and he was balls deep. He felt as if he was trapped in a quicksand, no matter how hard he tried to escape, he only got sucked in it more until he no longer could move or breathe.

The flight was reaching its destination and with each minute that passed by, Louis' heart sunk a bit deeper. After everything that went down between him and Harry, Louis no longer could face him, hence not appearing on majority of the interviews and making up excuses of not feeling well, or being on a vocal rest, or his dog not feeling well, and so on. He used every excuse that he could muster up. From good old textbook excuses and google searches to deep planed lies and excuses, he'd done it all. By the end of it, he was impressed with his own lying skills.

He started travelling alone, however, sometimes Niall or Liam would join him. He made sure his hotel room was far away from Harry's, just in case when they were on tour. All this just to avoid Harry. To his luck, shortly after everything broke apart, one direction went on a hiatus.

His feeling about it were mixed. After the final decision was made, Louis found himself curled up in his bathtub with a bottle of half emptied vodka, and tears streaming down his face. His self worth being questioned by himself.

Despite avoiding Harry as much as he could, he still found comfort in knowing that he was around and that he was okay. With the hiatus, he knew that he won't be able to be anywhere near him. Which was funny because he was the one creating spaces between them after the breakup.

And now that he no longer had to try, it broke him. The fact that he no longer would glance at Harry wearing those outrageous suits of his that Harry definitely nicked from an old grandma's curtain and lightly chuckle and say "look at the balls on this one" to himself.