I'm a Burden (Mikey Depressed Fic)

Part 7

Mikey POV

Why can I never seem to be enough. I see Leatherhead once more. Leatherhead was pulling my arm pulling me into an inky pool. "You failed again. You always seem to fail? You are the reason I am dead. You can't even stop yourself from worrying your family. You can't even make them smile." Leatherhead pulled me closer so I could see his neon yellow eyes. His hot moist breath slapped my face. His skin cracked and scared from decades of fighting.

He's slipping further into the oily black pool. I tried to pull away, no. "Leatherhead please don't do this. Leatherhead don't leave me. Leatherhead..." I cried. The voices of my brothers encircled around me, loser useless dummy, idiot, waste of space, waiting a year, lagging, slowing us down.

My grip loosened, I'm fighting for what? Why can't the pain go away! I'm a year younger than you guys I'm trying! Leather head snapped his jaw and roared as if he was in pain. The. We plunged in together.

Third Pov

Mikey's shot open his eyes and scrambled off the cot alarming his family who had been sleeping around his bed in plastic chairs. "LEATHERHEAD! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" Mikey jumped off the bed looking frantically around for Leatherhead. His breathing quickened when he saw his brothers still sleeping on the bed miraculously as Donnie had fallen asleep on his computer as well as his old father sleeping peacefully. Mikey covered his mouth as he forced himself to breathe silently, as he scurried out of the lab. He ran to his room, looking at his bandaged arms. Voices swarmed his head, he was useless. Why is he even here? Why did this have to happen? He wasn't supposed to make his family worry he should be making them happy. When did he screw up? His brothers might've gotten hurt. He was going to be the cause of someone's death again. He was weak and dumb.

How was he ever going to face papa again. This is a disgrace of being a ninja. Can't even kill myself right. He curled in on himself feeling hot tears fall down his pale skin. He wanted to punish himself, he needed to punish himself. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry" The teen's brethren accelerated as did his sorrys. He used his huge hands to cover his ears squeezing his face trying to stop the voices. Michelangelo curled closer in on himself he felt like he couldn't breathe. Michelangelo could hear nothing but the insults swearing in his mind. The world was spinning and he couldn't change a thing. He knew he couldn't.

"Michelangelo!" The father of the distressed boy was there in a flash. "Michelangelo wake up! It is but a dream! Michelangelo, you must hear me!" Splinter shouted trying to snap his son out of the trance he was in. The brother had been awoken by the shouting and they sprinted to their youngest family member. "What's wrong with him?" cried Leo.

"I-I don't know..." Donnie stared down at his brother who was hyperventilating at his feet. "MICHELANGELO WAKE UP MY SON!" Splinter yelled once more. Leo and Ralph began doing the same. "MIKEY!! You're okay! Get up, it's okay!" Leo cried kneeling next to his father afraid to even touch the boy in front of him. Ralph unable to watch his baby brother suffer shook and roared in his face. "WAKE UP YA LITTLE SH*T BEFORE I KICK YA ^SS! MIKEY YOUR OUR LITTLE BROTHER SO SNAP OUTTA IT! IT'S OKAY! NO ONE'S GONNA HURT YOU! MIKEY!!!!!!!!" Ralph's eyes stared unsure of what to do. Mikey could hear nothing, he could feel anything, knew he couldn't breathe, he wasn't sure of what to do.

Splinter with tears in his eyes and his ears pressed against his forehead, pulled his son close to him. "My baby boy, my little light. It's alright. Please come back to us.It's papa." Mikey started to cough, and inhaled before leaning into his father's embrace. "Papa?" The small one whispered. Splinter's ears perked up, as he felt his son starting to cry into his shoulder. "Papa?" Mikey clutched his father's robe unsurely. He wasn't sure what was going on anymore but, he knew that he wanted to cry. Mikey continued to cry into the robe, "I-I'm sorry. I-I'm a horrible son. I can't do anything. I-I let my best friend die." Mikey whispered in between sobs. Splinter rocked the boy back and forth, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." They stayed like that until Mikey calmed down. His older brothers dared not to even flinch until Mikey calmed down.

Once Mikey had calmed down he still hid in his father's robe unable to face his brothers. Splinter rubbed the youngest shell providing comfort which he had always had difficulty doing on his own if it hadn't been for his youngest he may have never known any kind of interaction with his sons.

"Mikey why are you sorry?" Donnie asked leaning in closer. He needed answers but he didn't want to scare Mikey either. Mikey presses closer to Splinter unsure if he wanted to answer. "Mikey please answer us." asked Leo placing his hand on his brother's back. Mikey swallowed pressing closer to his father. "S-stop p-pain... It's a-ah p-punish-ishm-ment. I-I d-deserve it!! "Mikey started to bawl his eyes out once more.

Splinter hugged the crying turtle closer to himself, his paternal instinct wanting to never let his baby go again. "Mikey no one should be punished like that." Ralph spoke up his face raw with grief. "What you're doing isn't right! This need ta stop! I- i don't like seeing you this skinny this hurt."

"We're your family Mikey. I'm so sorry we never helped you sooner. What kind of big brothers are we." Leo added his voice deep and hoarse as tears pooled into his own eyes. "Mikey you're my only little brother who will I get to play with? Who will make us smile?" Donnie asked him, he himself was crying also.

"My son you are my little light, just like my wife you remind me. You are so strong willed but I also forget that sometimes you aren't happy. I refused to notice because I refsed to believe you were sad... can you ever forgive me?" Splinter whispered looking up at the ceiling letting his son know that he's loved.

"NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Mikey yelled, not daring to move from his fahter's lap though nor reveal his face. "L-leatherhead died because of me! You guys get hurt b-because I-I n-not s-smart or strong! I NEED TO BE PUNISHED!"

"NO! That's wrong, I don't know where you got that idea but you're wrong. I didn't know Leatherhead that well but he wouldn't want this! " shouted Donnie. "You were his best friend and he sacrificed himself for you! Don't waste that sacrifice, he deeply cared for you and he let you live because he wanted you to keep smiling! You're not a murderer Mikey." The brothers tackled Mikey into a hug.

"Knucklehead you're a year younger than us, the fact that you keep up so well is amazing!" Ralph shouted. "

Mikey pulled his tear stricken face from his father's robe feeling stupid for resorting to something so unnecessary and worrying his family. "We wouldn't be the same without you Mikey!" cried Leo. "Don't forget you're stuck with us Knucklehead!" shouted Ralph. "We love you Mikey," Donnie added. "My baby boy please understand. You make us the happiest family on earth."

Mikey sniffed as more tears fell down his face. They were no longer just tears of sadness and shame but tears of joy and relief as well. His family loved him. It wasn't all his fault. He's not a complete screw up. If his family needs him and loves him, maybe he doesn't need to be punished. .