Samurai's Blossom - A Hakuouki Fanfic [HAITUS]

Chapter 13 - Tottering

Sara pov:

Gazing at the slowly darkening horizon, I recalled the words Sannan san had said to me several months ago, when the fact that I was an Oni was first discovered. I had followed him to his secret laboratory to help him with his experiments where he had openly told me that he was working on the Ochimizu, improving it so it could aid in creating Rasetsu who weren't entirely bloodthirsty when seeing blood. He had also said that the main ingredient that would help with that loophole was the blood of an Oni.

I had been curious as to why he had insisted on taking my blood and not Chizuru's for this manufacturing process. I mean, he could have used both of ours instead of just mine – and I don't know why I had never questioned it. I just assumed that it was probably because I was older and physically stronger than Chizuru. Those were valid points but they weren't reason enough.

Despite trusting me as the Shinsengum's doctor and being kind and respectful, I was well aware that Sannan san was still mildly wary about me. I was aware of his occasional scrutinizing stares that involuntarily sent a nervous chill down my spine. His gaze was almost always predatory, though I always did my best to not show discomfort when our eyes met.

Besides what he thought about me now, I recalled how I had been treated by everyone, including Harada san who I liked, when everyone found out that I was an Oni with regenerative abilities and from the future with quite a bit of experience in surgery. Sure, they were impressed and thought of my traits and skills as advantageous later on but the initial moments when they had found out about it had been thoroughly intimidating. Those who trusted me looked at me with scrutiny, with suspicion, with mistrust.

I had already understood that it was because of the different circumstances, the very first being the peace of the Feudal Era sitting on a delicate balance. But the reactions I had got still made me wary. It had me restless. It made me apprehensive.

There were brief moments when I felt the need to trust Kazama san because even though he was rude and insensitive and, his goal was clear – it's not that he wanted to marry me but that he wished to protect his kind no matter what. He wanted to protect Oni. Perhaps it was because of people like him that the pure Oni bloodline had continued to my time...to me. He was protective of his people and that very notion was noble to say the least.

But that still didn't validate the way he treated me and Chizuru – kidnapping us and forcing us to dance to his tunes. And emotions weren't something that we could control! I couldn't control who I liked and disliked, who I developed feelings for and wished to get close to. Harada san was a gentleman, kind and jovial and likeable. How could I just ignore how I felt for him because I was an Oni and had to protect the pure bloodline??

"Um, Sara san?" I blinked out of my daze when I heard Chizuru speak, "The herbs are spilling out of the mortar..."

I followed her gaze to the mortar in which I was grinding leaves only to see that most of the bits had fallen out onto the floor. My brow twitched in irk. I sighed deeply with my eyes closed momentarily before cleaning up the mess I had created.

"Are you alright, Sara san? You were frowning deeply before," said Chizuru.

"I'm fine, Chizuru – I've just had a lot on my mind."

"Did Kazama san say something to you?"

Well, wasn't she quick to catch on? I shook my head with a smile, "It's nothing you need to worry about. Rather than what he said, it's something I have to figure out and understand on my own."

That's right, I couldn't blindly believe Kazama san's words even though some situations I had been in did sort of prove his points. If a bond developed over time, it would change many things including trust. Differences would be accepted and despite different reactions in different situations, one would be trusted because of who they are at heart.