It was time to talk to Master Fu.
Merlin decided he had been putting off the conversation long enough.
If he wanted to be able to save Paris as a proper superhero, he either needed to change his costume or give the miraculous to someone else. His focus had been rapidly deteriorating in the last several fights and as a result, far more damage had been done and the akuma had nearly gotten away twice already. Chat, thank God, was there to save him.
But Merlin hated being the weak link in their duo. They had always worked together nearly perfectly and his dysphoria was becoming a distraction too big to ignore.
He could get around his chest by wearing a binder when he transformed but no amount of binding would hide his hips, his lack of lower male anatomy, or the softness in places a cis male would be firm. He wasn't able to perform at his best when Paris needed him. And something had to be done about it before he or someone else got seriously hurt.
Pushing into Master Fu's office was one of the easiest decisions Merlin had made that week, he decided. After all the dithering about whether or not to go and talk to him, actually doing it once his mind was made up turned out to be quite simple.
Master Fu was, as usual, seated in a meditation position on the floor mat of his home, waiting in silence for Merlin's visit as always. His uncanny ability to know exactly when Merlin was coming and why had never been particularly remarkable to Merlin until now. But it was certainly notable in hindsight, how accurately he predicted Merlin's visits.
"Well then Ladybug. I was wondering when you would come along. You're a bit late, you know." There was Fu's warm voice, his gentle, teasing chuckle softening the sentence even further than his feather-soft tone. As always, Fu was helpful, gentle and totally judgement free.
Prehaps that was why Merlin felt no real apprehension at the coming conversation. He had total faith that Fu would accept him and find a way to help.
"I needed to talk to you about something." Merlin hesitated before entering the room, unsure for the first time that day of whether or not to open the conversation after all. What if Fu couldn't help? What if Merlin was sent home with nothing more than a sincere bit of sympathy?
He had no fear that Fu wouldn't try to help. Only that he perhaps wouldn't be able to.
"Sit down Ladybug." Fu gestured leisurely to the mat in front of him, indicating that Merlin was to sit on the floor as he always did when they had a more laid back discussion. While racing in and demanding help might be acceptable in the midst of a tense battle, he was to be as polite to Fu as possible when the conversation was of a slower variety. This had always been the agreement between Master and his protegee. "Tea?"
Merlin never refused Fu's favorite Chinese fruit tea. It was the most delectable tea Merlin had ever had and he was certain it would remain in that place for many years to come. Then again, it wasn't like Fu had anything more to do than meditate, make tea, and occasionally do various traditional Chinese treatments on the unsuspecting victim - patient.
"Thanks."
Fu paused, blowing lightly on the surface of the liquid and taking a sip. He placed his tea against his knees and then glanced at Merlin pointedly, indicating he ought to do the same. "What brings you here today, Ladybug?"
Merlin noticed for the first time that Fu hadn't once used his deadname. The old man was incredibly perceptive, more so that Merlin might have even given him credit for. It would seem that Fu already had some inkling of what was going on, perhaps even down to the details.
"I... wanted to know if the hero costumes could be... modified?" Merlin blew on his tea and took a sip, thoroughly impressed with the rich, fruity flavor as always. Something about kneeing on the floor of Fu's warm peaceful shop with a cup of his favorite kind of tea put him at ease in a heartbeat. "I noticed the designs of our current costumes are very...different from the ones in your ancient texts."
