Half The Deen

7 Things Your Muslim Husband Won't Tell You

7 Things Your Muslim Husband Won't Tell You

Ever wish you could read your husband's mind? Western culture encourages husbands and wives to talk to each other and discuss things.

However, in many Muslim cultures, men are raised to be stoic and tight-lipped. Muslim husbands are very often (not always) reluctant to talk about certain things with their wives.

Part of the problem is also that sometimes it is hard to actually formulate our thoughts into the right words.

The only thing more difficult than translating thoughts to words is translating feelings to words.

So, a lot of Muslim men and women go through their marriages with very little communication and never really knowing what the other person is thinking.

This quick list is for the Muslim sisters in my audience. This list will give you good idea of some of the things your husband thinks about, but just doesn't know how, or want, to tell you.

1. Above All, He Desires Your Respect

In this article, I explained that women want to know their husbands love them, and men want to know their wives respect them.

It's important that Muslim women understand the value of respect for men, especially Muslim men. In Islam, men are taught from a young age that they are supposed to be the bread-winners and caretakers of their families.

You can imagine how frustrating it would be for a man, who tries his best to care for his family, to be married to a woman who doesn't respect him. She may declare that she loves him, but without her respect, he will quickly fall out of love with her.

This idea is put forward in the Quran where Allah says:
Men are in charge of women by what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard.
Chapter 4, Verse 34

2. He Desires Your Loyalty

This goes hand in hand with respect.There's nothing that will ruin a marriage quicker than the idea that your spouse is not loyal. The idea, that he or she is not going to stick by you.I'm not talking about infidelity. This is what usually comes to mind when people talk about loyalty in a marriage.What I'm talking about is knowing that the person whom you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with is going to be there for you when you really need them.

Most men won't admit it, but we do need women. And we do need your support.And it's very troubling to be married to a woman who may not be around when the going gets tough.If you are constantly threatening divorce or separation or Khula (Islamic divorce initiated by the wife), you can expect your marriage to fizzle out very quickly.

Your husband needs to know that you're going to be by his side if:

He loses his job and the money gets tight.He tries to do something (like start a business or go back to school) but fails at it.His reputation is tarnished or his honor is attacked.

You should be loyal to your husband before everything else except Allah and His Messenger (pbuh).

If you're loyal to your husband, than rest assured he'll be loyal to you.

3. He Wants To Have Sex More Often

Let's get this right out into the open.Some women might think men are narrow-minded brutes for this, but it's the truth.Men desire sex. Men really desire sex.

So when you give him the following excuses:

"I've got a headache."

"I'm not feeling good."