Half The Deen

Difference Between Men and Women

The story begins with a mother duck looking proudly at all the ducklings that had just hatched. While she did, she noticed that there was one that was different: it was large, and not at all like the others. Soon that duck came to be known as 'The Ugly Duckling'.

It was different and didn't quite fit in.

When God created humanity, there were men and then there were some that were not at all like the rest; they were women. They couldn't run as fast, and they cried way too much. Those women spent their whole lives wondering: were they just bad copies of men; am I as a woman, that ugly duckling? Am I just a bad copy of the standard?

No, Allah says that women are swans. Women are different than men, but it's meant to be that way.

The moral of the story? It teaches that being beautiful and having worth, does not mean women have to be just like everyone else. It teaches that, women's standard, worth and honour does not come from sameness to men, but distinctiveness to men.

The worth of a woman, or man – what is a woman/what is a man – has been defined in many ways throughout history and across societies. One of the ways that, unfortunately, society has defined what is means to be a woman, or to be a successful woman, has to do with how she looks. We live in a society where women are pretty much defined by the way they look, and how successful they are is determined by how attractive and beautiful they can be for men.

Allah tells us that women do not need to fall to that standard, women don't need to be an object. Allah tells us that a women's worth is defined by her relationship with Him, and not by her relationship to any of His creation. So, women are told, by Allah, as Muslim women they should cover themselves. And by covering, what is irrelevant is covered – that is, the body (the external beauty).

Because what really matters in a woman's self-worth, is the character of a woman and her relationship with Allah.

This objectification of women in today's hyper-sexual societies, has been criticized by Western feminists. In trying to break out of this, what has happened is that Western feminism came into it and tried to liberate women from the bondage of being a sexual object. But the problem with this so-called 'liberation' is that God has been taken out of the equation. This has resulted in: the way to liberate a woman is by making her like a man.

What is meant by that, is that there needs to be a standard of some sort; something to measure one's self worth against. And if God is taken out of the equation, that thing to measure one's worth against, becomes that which is in power. So, what happened over time, is that in trying to liberate women, ironically, women began to think that they should mimic men; they should be more like a man. Therefore, they will be more honored and dignified.

Some examples of that are, things that are usually considered uniquely feminine, or more to do with feminine traits are considered a degradation. For example, to say that someone is emotional or sensitive has become an insult. Even though, the Prophet (PBUH) defined these things differently.

For example, society has defined that to cry is a measure of weakness, and to not show emotion, means that you are strong. Yet, the Prophet (PBUH) defines it differently.

The Prophet (PBUH), when he cried after the death of his son, people looked at him, especially the men, they thought it was strange. And they were taken aback by this display of tears and questioned him, 'What are you doing?' The Prophet (PBUH), explained that the emotion that he had just showed was connected to 'Rahma', to mercy.

Rahma is one of the greatest attributes of God, it is a Godly attribute. So, the Prophet (PBUH) actually connected that display of emotion, to a very honorable quality: mercy. Yet, societies came and redefined it as weakness.