Half The Deen

How To Be Happy 101

- By Safiyyah Sujee

If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. And by kitchen I mean social media.

Did you know that social media has been scientifically proven to cause depression? And it makes perfect sense, why this is so. Every single person is trying to create a certain image of themselves, nobody likes to seem like a loser. What you must keep in mind is that people only allow you to see what they WANT you to see.

Now you're scrolling through media and you see this couple looking so happy and romantic. You're jealous, you admire them, you wish you had that too. This is the right idea of a relationship you think. But they didn't tell you how much they fight, how he's hit her, what family issues they must be having. Just by that one picture you assume everything is hunky dorey. You begin to look down at your own circumstances and question what you have, why is your partner not as romantic, why don't you have somebody? Why are they so happy?

Somebody puts up a status about their new job or how they graduated. Very nice. But did they tell how many times they failed before they made it? Did they upload statuses saying:
"Failed my final again"
"Got rejected for tenth job interview"

No. They didn't.

Other people, uploading pics and stauses about how they helped orphans, and what they did for other people and you wonder why you can't be a good person like this. I've actually seen this before, where people will do "community work", sitting one side with their phones or gossip, the moment the cameras come out, they're hugging orphans and handing out food. It's an image thing.The best of people are those who give in such a way that the right hand gives and the left hand in unaware.

You scroll further. People are uploading pictures of their fancy holidays, how happy they are, what cars they bought. You wonder why you've never been able to be happy like this or why you can't have what they have. But did they tell you, that with all their wealth, they are so alone? No money can't satisfy their emptiness. That they have a drug problem? Their family doesn't get along at all? That it's all a facade to make it seem as if all is well? No they didn't.

Now, not for second am I implying that couples who upload pictures are fighting, or that people who have been successful, failed many times, necessarily, that people who do community work are in it for the attention. I don't imply that, for a minute. What I am trying to say is that you should never ever ever look to someone else and allow them to form a benchmark for your happiness. When it comes to worldly and material aspects, never compare, you will never find happiness nor satisfaction because there will ALWAYS be someone above you. Better than you.

How many times we yearn and wish that we could switch places with someone else, but if you had a peak into what the entire situation is like, you would never switch with them. Remember you're tested in your own capacity and according to what you can bear. Sometimes even good things are a test, to see if we appreciate, and how our resources are used.

Unless you can grasp this concept that what you see on social media is not the full picture, that everyone puts their best foot forward, that all is not as it seems, that you should never look to other people and compare to what you have. If looking at all this upsets you- stay away. Stop scrolling. You're only going to upset yourself. Allow your heart to be happy and content with what you have. You're special and perfect the way you are. And there's a beauty within you that no one else can mimic. Always be yourself because everyone else is taken. You don't need to live upto anyone else's idea of success. You decide that for yourself.

Remember happiness is a choice. Only pick a frown when there are no smiles available.