Pray For War

Revelations

Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control

I winced at the cool feeling of antiseptic at my cheek. My teeth gritted at its stinging sensation. Fuck it burned. I sucked the air between my teeth in protest.

From my seat on the gurney, I silently watched John begin to stitch the cut across my left cheek. I must have hit a bit of loose metal or something when my face slammed against the sewer wall. Or the creature got me...I didn't recall. John applied pressure against my cheek and I welcomed the pain that came from his needle. It told me I was still alive even if I felt completely broken.

My eyes drifted to Eric's body and the numbing feeling came back.

"He never forgave you for leaving. You just about broke him when he thought you were dead" Reaper spoke accusingly and looked up from his work. I glanced into his soft hazel eyes with a glare that told him to go fuck himself.

"I know" I responded in a monotonic voice. "But whatever Eric felt toward me, he understood what I did" adding firmly while glancing back over to Eric's body.

"You have no fucking clue, he was your friend, not a goddamn mission," Reaper spoke distractedly as he tied off the last suture.

My jaw clenched in pain as he tugged at the raw skin.

"If only I lived to please you, John" I spat.

"The people you should have tried to make an effort for are all dead, Valkyrie, I would be surprised if you noticed." He hissed and put down the needle.

"Spit it out John",

"Where were you?! Where were you at Brian's funeral?! Was it too difficult to explain to his parents why they would never see their son again?, You didn't even write them a goddamn letter. You left Eric to explain to them that he died trying to save you, that he failed. " John spat toward me and ran a hand through his short black hair while packing away the medical equipment. He had the right to be angry. But he'd be blind if he thought he was right.

"I shut down the organisation that killed him, that tried to kill you. That's where I was" The harsh words seemed to escape my mouth before I could stop them. John was furious at this point and smacked the medical equipment off the table in a rage.

"What are you going to do John?! Huh?" I spat with all the strength in my voice.

John snapped and reefed me forward by the collar of my kevlar, I abruptly slipped off the edge of the table. Holy fuck! I could barely breathe as my feet touched the ground and he forced me upright with one arm. John breathed heavily and towered over my aching body. Pain seared my stomach like a grenade exploding in my rib cage. My hand immediately shot up to my wound. Everyone turned their heads in shock and froze, Sam had never seen her brother so enraged. Sarge raised an eyebrow to his usually calm friend and observed the situation.

"Do it, John. It won't bring them back, but it's close enough, right?." I spoke weakly, his face was uncomfortably close to mine but I wouldn't surrender. I didn't actually know what he was doing but he kept his grip firm, with his chest almost against mine. His eyes softened and he seemed momentarily displaced as he searched my own orbs. I felt his breathing against my cheek calm down to a reasonable speed and watched furiously as he clenched his jaw.

"Eric knew John. He knew", My words may as well have been closed fists. They hit him with the same force. I couldn't fix the hurt that crossed his face. I hated that I was the one to put it there. This was enough. Enough fighting. I couldn't do it anymore.

My hand enclosed around his grip at my collar, ushering it away.

"Shit, Reaper let her go" Duke commanded from the other side of the room.