Forever And Ever (BTS)

Chapter 34

Jungkook walked down the stairs the morning after he was discharged. The second he saw Jimin, he walked over and wrapped him in a giant hug. "I'm sorry, hyung," he whispered. Jimin smiled softly and ruffled Jungkook's hair. "Don't worry Kookie, I know you didn't mean it. Just don't scare us like that again, okay?" Jungkook frowned, "It's not like I can anyway, the nurse said I can only do light exercises for a few weeks." "You better listen to what she instructed, otherwise you might end up back in hospital," Mr Kim said, setting breakfast on the table. "Eat up, boys, you need your energy for school." 

"Hyung, you're not messaging Dae Ho today? What a surprise!" Tae exclaimed, eyes wide with genuine surprise. Jin smiled, "I realised that I should be talking to you guys on the way to school. I see Dae Ho the whole day at school, but I hardly get to hang out with you other than when we're walking to school together." As he said this, he caught Yoongi's eye, and was pleased to receive a slight nod from him. For the first time in years, Jin was fully present to say goodbye to his younger brothers and walk with Yoongi. "I see you took my advice," Yoongi said. "You were right. Family is more important than anything," Jin replied. Yoongi stopped walking and faced Jin. "Just make sure this lasts." He then continued walking like hadn't said anything. Jin followed, determined to live up to Yoongi's expectations.

"Jin, no message today?" Dae Ho slid into his seat next to Jin. Jin shook his head, "Sorry, but I don't think I can message you in the mornings anymore." "Why not?" Dae Ho asked, confusion spreading across his face. "A few days ago, Yoongi said I didn't pay enough attention to my family. After thinking it through, I decided he was right. I need to spend more time talking to my family and knowing what's going on in their lives," Jin explained. Dae Ho slowly nodded, "I get it. That makes sense." "You cool with it?" Jin asked, holding his hand out for their handshake. Dae Ho grinned, reciprocating, "Of course I am."

Jimin and Tae got home to see Jungkook on the way to the shower, sweating. He saw them eyeing him and quickly spoke, "I did light exercises only, I promise." The two nodded, before Jimin stopped Jungkook again. "Kookie, I want to talk to you after you come out of the shower." Jungkook gave an ok sign as he continued to the shower. 

Jungkook came out of the bathroom and went to the bedroom to see Jimin sitting on his bed waiting for him. He heard Tae in the other room, he must have left to give them privacy. "So, what's up hyung?" he asked. Jimin gestured for Jungkook to sit down next to him before talking. "I just want to talk about your obsession with exercise." Jungkook immediately started to protest, "I don't have an obsession with exercise, I just enjoy it!" But Jimin wasn't convinced, "Sure, that's why you exercise excessively every single day and you're super frustrated at having to do only light exercises now." Jungkook huffed, "So?" Jimin put his arm around Jungkook's shoulders, "I've been thinking about it, and I have a feeling that this is related to why you had that eating disorder a few years ago." Jungkook froze. "And what makes you think that?" he whispered. "Well, I thought back to when you started this whole exercise thing, and I realised that it started just a few weeks after you started eating normally. You still have issues with your weight, don't you? You still want to lose weight but since you can't eat less anymore, you're trying to exercise to lose it." Jungkook remained silent. That was all Jimin needed to know that he was right. "Can I tell you something?" Jungkook nodded. 

"Remember when I was younger, J used to come out all the time during school breaks? I know now that it was because I wasn't confident in myself. I was shy, I didn't like the things most boys liked. I was different. J appeared because I didn't want to be myself. I believed that my classmates would never play with me if I went up to them with soft toys. So my mind created J, a tough boy who bullied people because at least then they would play with me. But thanks to dance, I became confident. I grew more sure of myself and I became happy. And then I found that as I started to be true to myself, more people started talking to me. All I had to do was focus on what I really wanted to do to be happy and everything came after. Now, I want you to think. Why are you doing this to yourself? Are you doing it because you want to look cool in front the others? Deep down, you know your weight is fine where it is now. You don't need this much exercise. So why? I'm not you, but I'd like to think that as your brother, I know almost everything about you. And I believe that if you were just doing this for fun, you wouldn't be so strict on yourself. You wouldn't be going to such lengths to push yourself. You don't need this much to be satisfied. It's the world around you that you're trying to satisfy. But it's stressing you out. So I want you to try and focus on yourself from now on. If you want to take a few days off from exercising, then do that. Do what you want. People aren't going to stop talking to you just because you're not a gym rat anymore. Find hobbies that you truly enjoy. You'll be much happier, you'll see. And if you still want to workout everyday because you do like it, then that's fine too. As long as you focus on what you want. Can you do that?"

Jungkook felt tears well up. Jimin had basically spoken about his exact feelings back to him. The tears started falling as he nodded, "Yes. Yes, I can. Thank you, Jiminie hyung." Jimin grinned before pulling Jungkook into a big hug. "You can do it, Kookie. I believe in you."