Cloud 69

6:

It's been a month. An entire month. 

I'm sure the question on everyone's lips is: "How could you possibly survive a month with such a completely brainless bonehead like Carson?"

At least, if anyone knew, I'm sure that would be the first question they would ask. Nevertheless, the answer to the question is this: I'm barely hanging on.

The key to maintaining my sanity for the past thirty days has been spending as much time outside of the house as possible. Mornings aren't too bad because Carson gets up early for the gym and goes directly from there to school. On the off chance that he's home, he will occasionally offer me a ride, which is ten minutes of bearable silence. Afternoons usually involve going on long runs or binge-watching bad sitcoms on Luna's couch, which sometimes involves third-wheeling to her and Zach, but I've already grown accustomed to that. And most weekends are spent over at Dylan's house; his older sister always has the best gossip when she's home from college, and his mother makes really good banana bread, so I can't complain. 

The only long durations of time I've had to spend with him are during class and the "family meal" my mother insists on having every Sunday.

The most infuriating part of the entire situation, however, is how deceiving Carson can be. He has somehow completely tricked my parents into liking him. It's like he has a behavior switch in his head that he can flick at his convenience, and he has the timing down to perfection. Any time my parents are around, Carson acts like such a sweet little kiss-ass. He asks them how they are, offers his help with dinner preparations, and volunteers to run to the grocery store if they need something. He even started the laundry once so that my father "wouldn't have to." It's sickening.

And as soon as my parents are out of earshot, he flicks the switch back and goes from kiss ass, back to total ass. I get eye rolls and dirty looks and snide remarks. He'll have cereal in the morning and leave the empty milk carton in the fridge, knowing I'll find it when I go to make my own bowl. He barges into my room without warning, usually to start a fight. And almost every night, whatever he does in his room (which I'll leave up to imagination) is loud enough for me to hear through soundproof walls.

Of course, none of this ever happens if my parents are around. 

My mother believes that Carson is an angel sent down right from heaven. Every time he leaves the house, the first thing out of her mouth is 'what a charming young gentleman he is' and with 'such good manners.' My favorite was the one morning when she walked in on Carson cleaning his room, and she scurried into mine to tell me I should 'take a page from his book.'

He's even managed to wrap my father around his finger; they've watched the football game together every Sunday and act all chummy any time there's a touchdown. Carson has even mastered the 'I'm totally paying attention face' for when my father goes on with one of his long stories from his college days.

It's a sickening deceit, and, unfortunately for me, he has perfected it. 

There was one night in particular when the bass of whatever loud music he had played was strong enough to actually make the walls of my room vibrate. I was so beyond frustrated with him, and when a girl showed up at our front door later that night, I was done. I left the house with my car keys and my phone with no plans and no idea where I was going.

I ended up calling Luna to see what she was up to. She happened to be heading to the movies with Zach, as well as one of Zach's friends who just so happened to be single, and just so happened to have been asking about me.

I scolded Luna for about two minutes about her continuously ineffective goal of trying to set me up with everyone in existence. However, it was either the movies or going back to my bedroom and enduring the mini-party Carson was having in his room, so there was very little to decide.