Before hope is lost

CHAPTER 1 - LOSS AND GRIEF

I don't want him to say it. She didn't make it. She's gone. A fresh round of tears pour down my face as dad listens to the doctor but I don't hear a thing, Dad drops back in the chair clutching his chest, tears streaming down his face.

I shake myself of, trying not to cry just yet. Before I've even left my room. Twenty years of love, laughter and happy memories and my parents still acted like they had only just fallen in love. Making goo goo eyes at each other whenever they walk in the room, constantly holding hands, kissing, showing their deep love for one another. Being the complete goofs they were. I hope I'm that lucky someday. I have no doubt in my mind that my parents were two halves of the same whole. Soulmates, destined to meet and never be separated for more than a few hours at most. Another question I have frequently wondered about is how can the world be so cruel? No. How can one person be so cruel? To not have a care for another persons life? I sit at the edge of my bed remembering my last ever encounter with Mum.

"Mum, I'll be fine! Money is on the counter, I'll call if theres any trouble, I know I know. Now just go, Dad is waiting for you in the car and in two seconds he's going to start beeping the horn" we both share smiles at the sound of the horn filling the air with Dad's lack of patience.

" okay okay, i'm going, I'm just making sure you'll be alright. Goodbye darling, see you when we get back." she replies laughing at herself as she grabs her coat and turns to give me a kiss on the forehead.

"You're going for dinner not leaving the country, I'm sure I can survive by myself for a few hours. Enjoy! And don't celebrate too hard!" I chuckled while rubbing the spot her red lipstick is sure to have left it's mark. To be biased my mother is the most beautiful woman in the world. Inside and out. She's wearing her favourite black fitted dress with the high neckline that reaches down the her knees and paired it with the silver necklace and matching earrings I got her for her birthday last month. The necklace is engraved with a sweet little message to show her how much I love and appreciate her, always. She has her golden hair in shiny, big bouncy curls, not a strand out of place and a pair of sleep black heels to give her tiny frame some extra height. Dad decided to surprise mom with a meal at the place they got engaged two years before I was born. To say she was ecstatic would be understatement of the year.

Grinning and waving on the doorstep, I watch as dad reverses the car and pulls away from the house before I close the door.

"Wren, are you almost ready?" Dad's voice floats up the stairs through the open door of my room knocking me out of my own mind. He sounds so lost without her around. Today is Mum's funeral. The dreaded day. Grabbing my cardigan I make my way down the stairs and into the living room where Dad is sitting on the edge of the sofa with a barely touched cup of tea in his hand.

"I'm ready." I plop myself down next to him and lean onto his side. feeling like a little girl again, seeking comfort from my fathers warm embrace. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer into his side as if he's trying to shield me from the entire world. We sit in silence for a few minutes. Neither of us willing to break the silence and acknowledge what this day means or how its going to go.

"Aunt Isa should be getting her soon. You've got all the things you need packed, yes?" He asks quietly. Mum had made plans for us all the spend a few weeks in Aunt Isa's house in Wales before all of this happened. It was supposed to be a few weeks of relaxing before coming back in time for me to move into my new university accommodation. He doesn't know yet that I've called the university board and told them I have decided to postpone my course. It doesn't feel right to go when all this is so fresh. We need each other most right now.

"About that. Dad, I called and told them what happened and that I've decided to take a gap year." I hold my breath for a second, two, three. He finally responds, looking down at me