Perdita (A Peter Pan OUAT Fanfic)

CHAPTER ELEVEN: A Little Conversation

A/N - Again, I wasn't really sure what to do for this chapter, but this is how it turned out. Don't judge me.

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WHAT?! Did he seriously say what I just thought he said? Jesus Christ. Just when I thought things were become a little more solid, gaining some semblance of normality, he springs this on me.

"I- umm... well. Uhh," I stumbled over my words. I needed more time to think.

He was staring at me intently, unblinkingly. Like he was trying to access my mind through my eyes to predict my answer. He didn't say a thing and I was left to stutter and stammer over impossible thoughts to try and formulate a response.

I didn't like Felix that way! Yes, I liked him more than anyone I could ever remember and his companionship was what had gotten me through the last weeks. He had become something of my best friend amongst a nest of enemies. I dreaded the thought of not having him by my side even for those hours we spent together every day. It was unbearable. And even though, just a matter of days ago I might have called him dangerous and terrifying, in the short space of time since, he had turned into the most lovable person I had encountered in my memorable life. But that being said, I still didn't like him in that way.

But then, even if I did say no, what would that mean for our friendship? What if he got really offended and distanced himself from me even more than he had today? So much that I wouldn't ever see him again. Or what if it was worse? What if he tried to hurt me? I couldn't help but imagine that maybe all the kindness he'd shown had been an act to earn my trust just so he could attack me at the moment I least expected it. What if... but no!

These were just the wild fantasies that my brain conjured up in a moment of crisis. I knew Felix. He wouldn't ever do anything like that. For God's sake, the boy was too shy to even look at me for the first days after I met him. That could never have been pretend. There's no way he would do something so bad. So that meant the best possible solution would be to say no, right? It would hurt him, but it would be right. But despite this knowledge, there was still a niggling feeling inside my chest, and my heart faltered when I though of what that might do to him..

"I- uh. Felix, the thing is..." I trailed off. I don't know why I even started speaking: I knew I couldn't do it.

His face fell. The glimmer left his eyes and I could tell that somewhere down in his stomach, the butterflies that I had no doubt had just been zooming around insanely, had turned to hornets.

"Right. I get it." He murmured and leaned back.

I just couldn't bare it. I couldn't let him look that way. What was one date, anyway? I could just tell him I preferred to be friends afterwards. He would understand.

"Wait," I started, my tone much more confident, "Wait, Felix. You didn't hear my answer, you idiot." I rolled my eyes - best to keep the mood as light as possible.

He leaned abruptly towards me, some of the hope flooding back into his face. "You mean...?"

"Yeah. Why not? Let's do it."

And yet his reaction surprised me. I expected him to celebrate, jump around or even hug me. Judging by how disappointed he'd been when he thought I was saying no, that should have been his return. But no. His face still retained its perfect beam but the emotion behind his eyes betrayed him. He seemed almost... scared. Like the fact that I'd agreed meant the end of an era that he'd been hoping to extend.

I didn't get a chance to ask what was wrong, however, as not even a second later, he was on his feet and sauntering swiftly away. Where could he be going so soon? Realising it probably best to let him go without a fight, I determined I needed the answer to one thing.