gotta get out [billie eilish]

Chapter 9

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Nine

I hum along to Billie's music, tapping one of my hands on the steering wheel. I'm trying to work up the courage to rest my other one on Billie's thigh. Fuck it.

I reach over the space between us and place my hand on her leg. I run my thumb against the smooth skin that isn't covered by her long shorts. She puts her hand on top of my own. We spend the rest of the car ride like that. I can't help smiling when she sings along to songs she likes.

"Oh! Turn left here," She tells me and obey. She glances at her phone, which is directing us. Without planning it, we ended up deciding to go to the weird fast food place Billie told me about when I first met her. We slowly drive down a normal looking street filled with houses. "It should be...here."

There is a large strip of bare land between two houses. A blackened, barely readable sign is the only thing still standing amongst a pile of junk and burnt wood.

The second I see it, I know it looks familiar. After a few more seconds, I know why. I remember this shop being on the news.

"I'm confused," She says, staring blankly at the block of land.

"Billie... this place burned down a few years ago," I tell her slowly.

She snaps her head to look at me. "What?" Disappointment is painted clearly on her face.

"I'm sorry," I say. I didn't realise this was so important to her until now.

She lifts up her phone and starts frantically scrolling. I lean over and see that after the page with the directions to the location, there are so many articles on the fire.

"Why does this mean so much to you?" I decide to ask her instead of wondering.

"What? It doesn't," She says quickly. "I just really wanted to come here, see it for myself."

I nod, unconvinced, but I don't push it.

***

"Wanna see my room during the day?" I ask, grinning. I glance Billie before returning my gaze to the road in front of me.

"Your parents, bro," Billie reminds me.

"Ugh," I groan, "Who cares? They have to get over it at some point."

"Are you sure about this?" She asks me hesitantly.

"They can just think we are friends," I justify. Then they wouldn't have a problem.

"They probably aren't that stupid," She says. She's right.

"I don't care," I tell her bluntly.

"Okay," She squeezes my hand.

***

"This is Billie," I introduce her to my parents. My mom fails to disguise her judgemental stare. Billie stands awkwardly next me, and I'm slightly surprised by how polite she is to them.

"We are going to my room," I announce and grab her arm to lead her down the hallway.

Once we are out of their view I hear my mom shout, "Leave the door open," and I roll my eyes. When we reach my room I let her in first, and purposely close the door.

"Can we watch a horror movies," Billie asks me, fiddling with something on my shelves. She's been in my room before but it was the middle of the night and we barely hardly see each other, let alone my entire room.

"Yes," I giggle, opening Netflix on my laptop.

We lean against the back frame of my bed with pillows between our backs and the hard wood. I notice Billie starting to get comfortable next to me, and I pull her towards me instead. She cuddles into my side, and her hand fiddles with the thin strap of my white singlet, exposed by my unbuttoned flannel. She kisses the bare skin on my chest and then looks back at the screen.

This girl is in my arms right now. I'm so fucking lucky.

When we are about half way through the movie my moms comes into my room, probably choosing not to knock on purpose. Billie flinches when the door opens, about to jolt herself away from me but I wrap my arm around her body. She squeezes my hand.

Mom freezes when she sees us. "Your friend should leave now. We have things we need to do," She says, stumbling on her words.

Things to do? Bullshit. I roll my eyed as she exits the room, leaving the door open a crack.

Billie starts to start up and I tug on her sleeve. "I don't want you to go."

She smiles and shuffles closer to me until she is close enough to climb onto my torso. I hold my hands on her hips. She leans down to kiss my forehead, and takes the chance to whisper, "I should go."

I use a hand to keep her hair behind her ear as she is leaning forward, and I kiss her neck softly. "But don't you just want to stay forever."

"I do," She sighs, tilting her head forward so she can look me in the eyes. She cups my cheks in her hands. "I have to go though," She tells me, pecking me on the lips and getting off me.

She starts to let herself out but I follow her to the front door, hugging her before she leaves.

When I walk into the living room alone, my parents are staring at me. I try to ignore them and walk to the fridge, but their gaze burns holes into my back.

"What?" I spit, rudely. I'm not in the mood to be nice to them about this, even if I'm being immature. I know I should treat them with more respect but oh well. Respect is earned.

"Are you two... is she..." My mom chokes on her words like it disgusts her to even make the suggestion. My dad shoots me a look of disapproval but stays silent. He usually leaves the arguing to my mom.

"She's not my girlfriend," I say in response. Her face visibly softens , but still looks angry.

And I might want her to be my girlfriend, but she's not, so I'm not lying. We never said we were official. I also might be falling in love her. Fuck.

"Well, I don't want her coming back here anymore," My mom says sternly.

I feel myself becoming frustrated. "Why?! There is no reason why she shouldn't be just as welcome as Dylan and Kai. You never had a problem with them."

My parents gawk at me. I don't realise I'm crying until I feel my wet cheeks with my fingers. I hate that they made me like this, and they know it.

"This isn't up for discussion," my dad chips in.

I glare at them for a moment before storming to my room so they can't get another word in.