gotta get out [billie eilish]

Chapter 7

Seven

I feel hands on me, and two buff looking guys help me over the barrier in front of Billie and I. I wait for them to put me down in the walkway between the raised platform and the fence, but they lift me up and put me straight on stage next to the singer.

The women grins widely and helps me up. I watch as she signals the drummer, who starts tapping seconds later and they all join in. She begins singing, lifting my arms in all directions to get me to do weird looking dance moves with her.

Uncontrollable laughter comes from my mouth and my cheeks are heated. I know everyone is watching me but I can't bring myself to look at the audience. She doesn't look bothered by my awkwardness in the slightest.

As she moves to the music, the unshaven side of her head stay still as if its stuck in place. She has lines beside her eyes, but no one could question the genuineness of her happiness. It's not just a show.

I would probably feel less awkward if I at least knew some of the words and could sing along, but who could have been prepared to be thrown on stage by Billie. I never know what will happen when I'm with her, even though I've literally known her for a few days.

When the song finally finishes my cheeks ache from smiling and I feel like it's been thirty minutes. I give the singer a grateful smile and quickly retreat off the stage before anyone can say anything. As I stand in the empty walkway, people push against the metal bar between me and them.

I search for Billie in the front line of the crowd. She's already grinning at me. I rush to her and throw my arms around her body. She giggles and holds me tightly, despite the short bar between out body's. I climb over it and use the opportunity to hug her again, even tighter. Her hair smells sweet and I feel her breath against my neck and the warmth of her body.

I don't really want to stay at this gig though. I'm not a fan of people in general, and standing in front of them all for a few minutes was enough for one night.

As if she can read my mind, Billie mutters, "Let's go."

We head back to the station. The train ride home is quiet, and we occupy four seats, two for our feet. I rest my head on her shoulder and close my eyes, feeling our bodies shift as the train makes a turn.

I must have fallen asleep because the ride home seems almost instant. Billie nudges me, "This is our stop."

We get up and make our way to my house. I know I have to go home because I'm grounded - and it feels like a heavy, dreadful weight on us as walk home; knowing we will have to go our separate ways isn't a fact I was to face right now. I don't want to leave her. I know she feels the same by the way her grip on my hand gets tight the closer we get.

We sneak down the side gate to my still-open window. The curtains blow in the weak breeze. I climb inside and turn around, the upper half of my body resting comfortably out of the window still.

I grab the part of Billie's hoodie that covers her shoulders, and tug on it so she's forced to move step closer to me. A smile inches onto her face as I snake my arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder, in the crook of her neck.

She hold my body against hers, lifting up stands of my hair and letting them run through her fingertips.

I don't want to let her go, so I won't. Without pulling away from her, I lean her towards my room. She sighs and lifts her leg up over my wall and under the lifted glass. "What are you -" She starts to whispers but I cut it off my cover her mouth with my finger to silence her. I can't let my parents here talking at this time.

I turn away from her and close my window. It was getting too cold outside for my thin clothing anyway. I kick off my shoes and Billie follows my lead, climbing into my bed and under my covers after me.

I lean my back against two pillows and pull her body towards me, wanting her as I close as I can possibly get her. She knows it too. I'm grateful for her gentle fingers tracing the inside of my palm.

I lift her hand and kiss the back of it, placing it back down over my heart. Billie responds my squeezing my body tightly. I hope she can't hear my rapid, nervous heartbeat when her head is on my chest.

"I'm so happy I met you," I tell her in the softest voice I can manage. I felt like I had to say something to her. Something honest.

I feel her cheeks tighten as if she's smiling, but I can't be sure.

"Me too, Maddy," She whispers. I want her to kiss me but I know she wouldn't.

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