gotta get out [billie eilish]

Chapter 2

Two

My nerves are skyrocketing as I anxiously tap my fingers against my steering wheel. I know I'm being a pussy but that doesn't change the fact that my heart is beating a thousand times per minute.

I park my car and allow my feet to carry me along the trail through the trees before I can talk myself out of it. It takes me five minutes of walking around aimlessly until I realise that the mysterious girl I've been seeing isn't here. Maybe she only comes some days of the week? Or maybe she only shows up after sunset? When I glance at the sky, I see the sun is just grazing the horizon, so I shouldn't have to wait for long.

I plug my headphones in and shuffle a playlist, laying down on the bench and allowing my eyes to close.

"You're the person in the silver car," I hear a voice and I jump, startled. My focus lands on the girl who is standing a few feet in front of me. "Are you stalking me, bro?"

I stare at her, gobsmacked. Stalking? Her accusing sea-blue eyes pierce into mine, causing me to break from her intimidating gaze.

"I'm not," I defend myself. She crosses her arms that are almost swallowed by the huge sleeves of her oversized hoodie. Doesn't she get hot wearing clothes like that on a day as warm as today?

"Then how come I always see your car slowing down or stopping when it passes me?" She questions. Her voice is gentle and for some reason I want her to keep talking.

"Why do you always carry that big bag around with you?" I retort, nodding towards the ground where it rests near her feet.

"Mind your own business, dude," She tells me, shaking her head slightly.

"I was just curious."

She ignores me and crouches to the floor, unzipping her bag and beginning to go through it. I lean over in an attempt to see inside, but when she catches on, she pulls it away from me. When she finally has her hands on a ukulele, she takes a seat on the other side of the bench, leaving a distinct gap between us.

I expect her to glare at me until I leave or something, but she pretends I'm not even here and starts humming a tune to some chords.

I lay down so my head is next to her and my feet are hanging off the end of the seat as she plays, and close my eyes.

"Ouch," I hear. I have no idea how long has passed, or even whether I fell asleep or not. I open my eyes to see her shaking her hand with a pained expression on her face.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

She holds her hands out, showing me the calloused tips of her fingers and I wince. "Yeah, it hurts when you play for a long time without stopping."

I glance away for a second, but when I look back, she is collecting her things and walking towards an open spot amongst dense trees. I hesitate for a moment, unsure of what she could be doing, but I follow her when I realise I don't give fuck.

I only notice how dark it has gotten outside when I'm no longer under the brightness of the street lamps. "I'm Maddy," I tell her as I try my best to see her in the shadows.

She spins around, allowing the moon to stretch over her face to reveal a sceptical look. "...Billie." She responds eventually.

"What are you doing?" I ask. It looks like she's spreading something out across the grass. I watch her curiously as she pulls out a thick blanket from her back and places it on top, as well as multiple pillows that she miraculously fit all in the one zip.

"Lay down with me," She says, patting the spot next to her. I oblige, putting my head on a pillow so we are facing each other. She grabs the soft blanket from under my legs and throws over me, as well as herself.

Her long eyelashes brush her cheek as she blinks, and her lips are full – slightly upturned into a smile.

"Do you stay here every night?" I wonder out loud.

"Why would I sleep inside when I can come here?" She responds, and then rolls onto her back so she's looking straight up.

I mimic her action, and my vision is filled with constellations and sparkling stars against a midnight blue background. I suddenly realise why she would want to fall asleep here. There's something so freeing about it – literally having millions of different worlds right in front of you.

"I can't wait to get out of this place," Billie states.

"Where?" I ask, confused.

"This city." She adds, "I'm so over it."

I feel the exact same. The only season I study so hard is so I can get into a college that can take me far away from here.

I can't take my concentration off the sides of our legs touching, as if it's causing an alarm to go off.

I feel a kick to my thigh. "Huh?"

"I said, do you finish high school in a month too?" She repeats herself to me.

"Oh, yeah I do. Hopefully I can do nursing at a college ages away. What are you gonna do after school ends?"

She looks at the ground. "Probably nothing."

Without thinking, I gently place my hand on the back of her neck and tilt her head towards me so I can see her face more clearly. She snaps her head up and narrows her eyes at me slightly – but under that, the sadness that surrounds her, breaks my heart.

"I don't really get the grades I'd need to just move away and study somewhere," She continues.

"I could help you study for exams," I offer.

Before she can give me a response, my phone rings.