You'll Be Okay

Chapter 33

Savannah's funeral was on Saturday.

The ceremony was held at a church near Little Havana and I sat with Kayley, Tyler, Jarred and Dennis towards the back of the pews. It was the first time any of us had seen Reid since the day he'd lost his sister. His week-long absence from school had been disheartening and Tyler was at the brink of suspension after confronting mouthy classmates.

The procession began and the musicians struck up a slow melody of "Going Home", the Christian hymn. The pallbearers were four of the oldest Castellan brothers.

Reid remained the most indecipherable out of all of them, stubborn gaze fixed ahead. I wasn't sure if he was processing or just going through the motions but I was guessing the latter. Kade shuffled along beside him, face blotchy. James had lost every last bit of bravado from our first meeting but I was most horrified to see Lee's black eye, dried blood under his fingernails. In their matching black suits and ties, the resemblance between them all was striking.

They set the casket down and stepped back, Lee placing the flowers on top of the coffin.

"We have gathered here today to farewell Savannah Eloise Castellan and to commit her into the hands of God, our Father."

The Castellan brothers moved to sit down with the rest of their family, but Reid froze.

James spoke, hand at his brother's elbow and then Blair was beside him but their words were carried away by a squeal from Aubrey, the youngest Castellan. She was four years old, dressed in a black dress with pearl buttons and bows in her hair. When she burst into tears, it was Will, the second youngest, who quickly comforted her. Valentina and Demetrius shared a look as murmurs travelled through the onlookers behind them.

Tyler instinctively moved to stand but Jarred shook his head.

Don't, he seemed to say. This is a family matter.

-

For the burial, spectators cried openly as Savannah was lowered into the ground but Reid was not one of them. Only after a final prayer was gifted, the crowd dispersed.

"Fuck off," said Tyler to one teary relative of the Castellans when she tried to push past him to Reid. "Go home, Margaret. Let the girl rest."

"Tyler," snapped Kayley irritably. "Stop being rude."

His nostrils flared but he stepped aside.

With everyone else distracted, I let my feet lead automatically to the graves that I hadn't visited in three years. I knelt, brushing the dirt from the headstones that laid side by side.

In the loving memory of Anthony Patterson (1970 – 2016).

In the loving memory of Daniel Patterson (2003 – 2016).

My throat constricted, but I'd made it so far into the day without crying and I wasn't about to break down now. I straightened, taking a deep breath to compose myself.

"A friend of mine is going through the same thing I did," I said quietly, looking back towards where Reid had been, now swallowed by grievers. "I don't know how to help him."

Of course, there was no reply.

"Lex," said Kayley's voice behind me.

I jumped and turned, seeing that she had separated herself from the rest of our friends to find me. Her gaze drifted to the graves and her expression sobered, brown eyes filling with tears as she looped her arm with mine. I think she wanted to say something because after all, she had loved them too but she hesitated.

"How are you holding up?" Kayley asked instead.

I glanced over at Demetrius who was deep in conversation with a well-dressed man carrying a walking cane and then Valentina who was primly accepting a bouquet of white carnations. The rest of the Castellan family had been ushered into a black Rolls Royce. Reid was being swarmed by those expressing their condolences and Blair and James had seamlessly taken up the mantle of the two eldest, speaking gravely and patiently to insistent reporters.