Adolf & The Aztecs

IN DER KASSLE

The music of the evening breeze rumbled over the ascending hill, using the leaves and the raindrops as instruments as the sun made its way down the horizon. Piglet was still deep in his sleep, joining the nature's symphony with the occasional oinks provoked by his visions. On the saddle next to his, Hans was wondering about god knows what, most probably about pigs. He had never really wondered about anything else in his life. Most importantly, though most boringly also, Adolf and Fayermann were blankly admiring the landscape, not letting an ounce of emotion appear on their faces. Their shock had long faded away because of the length of this trip. All that was left was a feeling of great anxiety and uncertainty, perhaps it was even worse than shock.

They understood that life as they knew it was no more. No more selling shoes for Fayermann and no more procrastination for Adolf, the routine was gone once and for all. Adolf had not much reason to worry, he knew no one, at least no one that either he cared about or that cared about him, but Fayermann had a daughter. He had sent her away to be schooled at the nursing academy a few kilometres away and she was to be sent back to her hometown in a mere month. What was she going to find when she'd come back? "An empty house", thought Fayermann. When Sara would ask her neighbours where her father vanished, they wouldn't be able to tell her much. In the worst case, they'd reply with a simple shrug, in the best one they'd say something along the lines of "Some knights came and kidnapped him in the middle of the day. That's all I know ma'am".

All he could do at this point was to hope. There wasn't anything else to do. It's the conclusion he reached as he turned his stale expression towards Sir Liederspiel's Castle. Just like the situation the poor chosen ones faced, it was imposing. Its towers seemed to be at least 85 meters tall and were joined together by a large three-floored structure. The horses found themselves waiting for further instruction in front of the dominating gate, that was surrounded by well-shielded defensive walls. On both sides of it, banners with a yellow bird and a flying half-note upon a crimson background were seen.

Hearing the galloping noises from behind the wall, a bow-equipped guard appeared on top of the walls. "Who's that?" he shouted, and the sound barely made its way down to the visitors. Friedrich, though unused to such manners of speech, complied. It was raining and he frankly was tired, all he wanted was to pass through and lie on a bed. He coughed to clear his voice before adopting a chivalrous pose and replying to the soldier: "I am Sir Friedrich Von Eckburg, a noble servant of Kaiser Karl the Fifth. What I am going to tell you is strictly confidential and shall not ever be shared with anyone else except the lord of this castle. The Kaiser has requested me to find the new messiah. From reliable sources, it has been established that this man is below fifty, possesses coal hair and lives in this specific region. We have therefore taken the men who fit these criteria for further examination. Each of these men shall be treated with the greatest respect for one of them might be our civilization's saviour. It is on behalf of the Kaiser, to whom Sir Liederspiel is obliged to obey, that I request to enter thy fortress and discuss with thy. Now, guard, pass this message on to Sir Liederspiel and open up this gate."

Though Von Eckburg's speech was more than convincing, he had fallen short concerning the volume of his voice. All that was obtained from the archer in exchange was a simple: "Can you repeat it mate? Didn't hear much up here." Friedrich sighed in frustration, but fortunately for him, Martin's voice rose from his muscled chest. The voice was this time quite loud enough, at least loud enough to wake up Piglet, but its words weren't quite as sophisticated. "Just open this fucking gate Wolf, It's me. I can assure you these aren't gipsies of some kind." The pale-faced watchman shouted a last "O'rite mate" before disappearing from the walls. The wooden grid slowly went up and let the passage free for the knights to enter the keep.

Friedrich turned to his newfound friend Martin, thanking him with a nod as their horses went on to penetrate the fortress' walls. By the time they arrived near the large middle structure's entrance, a golden-haired young man had come out of the castle. His smug smile was immediately recognized by Little Piglet, he was Jarvis Liederspiel, the tyrant that made Piglet's childhood a nightmare. Martin led the pack with Friedrich and greeted the youngster, before addressing Freddy. "You and the civilians can hop off the horse, we'll bring the horses to the stable. In the meantime, you just have to follow Jarvis here." Fredrich followed Martin's advice and hopped off Eva as Adolf, Piglet, Hans and Dovid did the same. Wolf the watchman mounted on Friedrich's vacant saddle and followed the soldiers to the castle's stables.

Each of the guests arranged themselves around Friedrich and stayed mute, waiting to know what to do next. Jarvis smiled, as he introduced himself to the visitors: "My name is Jarvis Liederspiel, son of Lord Liederspiel. I have noticed your good company and I must say that I am quite intrigued as to what brings you here. In any case, I have full faith in the fact that your presence is approved of by the highest authorities as to serve the common good, and therefore you will be able to stay as much as you want." Friedrich let a small grin spring from his lips; -"I thank you for this warm welcoming, however, I would rather discuss such confidential matters with your father. I would like to request from you to show these gentlemen to a place they can rest in, if possible give each one of them a proper room." He requested, as Jarvis opened the door behind him and showed the whole group inside.

The hall they stepped in was wide and high, abundantly decorated with hunting trophies of various animals and paintings. Soft red and yellow carpets covered the entire floor, placed vertically, and only stopped at where the spruce-based stairs started. At the other end, from the door, stood a wide range of chairs and tables on which freshly lit candles stood, helping the massive central chandelier in enlighting the whole room. An old man sat on the most distant chair of the room, sipping a purple liquid from his steel cup, that a young servant kept filling up as he stood next to the lord.

The old man's head turned to the main entrance as he heard the slight noise coming from there. His attention immediately focused on the knight. He spoke no word, maybe out of laziness, or just out of respect for the sacred silence reigning in the hall. Friedrich's heavy military boots started slogging towards Sir Liederspiel, and the four potential messiahs were left on their own with Jarvis. Piglet was shaking, though it was mostly because the scene of Erik's death had not yet been gone from his head, meeting the son of a bitch that Jarvis was certainly didn't help.

"So, let me show you upstairs, I'm sure you're all very tired from whatever event you were involved in before coming in." And so Jarvis showed the upstairs as they all remained mute, like mindless sheeps. Though they were mindless in appearance, they still somewhat had thoughts. Fayermann was thinking: "I just hope that I won't have to sleep with that motherfucker Adolf" and Adolf was thinking: " I just hope that I won't have to sleep with that shoefucker Dovid". As for little Piglet, he himself was unable to decipher his own thoughts. His thoughts were in a state of complete chaos yet complete harmony at the same time, every line of thought just passed too quickly to follow any real thread.

Hans, as he marched in the middle of the sheep line to go upstairs, had probably the most interesting outlook on the situation. He was neatly taking into account each piece of his environment, he had made up his mind to escape. He knew what a pig's fate was, he knew what was going to happen to him if he didn't pass these tests to become "the son of God", he was going to be sliced! A butcher sliced, would that be normal!? No. Of course not. There was only one solution to keep him alive: Escaping from this mess and riding to somewhere out of this cursed Empire.

Escaping, but how? He didn't yet know. All he could do was assess his surroundings and make up a plan from that, and so that is all he did. It didn't take long for everyone to arrive on the third floor, which was split up in multiple corridors in between the rooms, making it seem like a maze. Jarvis advanced at a slow-paced and opened the first door of the corridor, letting the exhausted Adolf move in, immediately closing the door to the whole group as the trip continued. He opened the second door and had to wait a few seconds before Hans stepped in. The third one opened, and this time Fayermann disappeared into the bedroom. Piglet was left alone with Jarvis.

It seemed to him that Jarvis had not recognized his face, nor his manners and that reassured him greatly. A lot of things supported this theory, such as the fact that Jarvis made no more contact with Piglet than with the other guests. They reached the fourth door peacefully, and Jarvis opened it. Piglet settled one last look on Jarvis before going inside, but this time the door didn't close as fast. A chuckle coming from the other side made itself heard. It was Jarvis'. "Piggy Piggy Piggy, Oinky Oinky Oinky,

You're eating shit and dirt,

so if I kick you will it hurt?

Tell me Oinky Piggy,

If I can kick you in the face

Will it save the human race?"

 he sang, before closing the door once and for all. Piglet was left sweating, without yet having turned his back to the door. He was too scared of it opening up again.