ʀᴇɪɢɴ (ᴛᴠᴅ)

Chapter 9 - Defiance

Song: 'Loner' by Mikky Ekko 

'Mother, tell me we get what we deserve'

I spend extra time on Belladonna's hair this morning. Dragging it out to give me time to think about how to tell Kol everything. Everything including Mikael's part. It's not a personality trait of mine to be a tattle tail and not this childish, maybe even a little nasty but for this I'll make an exception. I'm going to tell Kol how his father threatened me and my family and if I go down I'm taking him with me. The odds of Kol accepting my secret are slim but I know he detests his father as well. Mikael threatened us, how dare he.

Belladonna must have noticed how on edge I was while doing her hair. How I would braid a red strand then undo the braid only to braid it again with shaky hands. My eyes flickering to one of my hands every so often just to make sure the nails are still on the tips, my mind still stuck on that dream. The nervousness makes me shake harder with each growing second. She must have noticed my jerky and shaky hands but she didn't utter a single word about it while she played with her lapis bracelet, waiting for me to finish.

I took my time on her hair and it turned out to be one of the best looks I've ever done it just took twice as long. All too soon I had finished and I know I need to get on with the rest of my day. I'm just stalling until the problem goes away but it seems this problem is here to stay for awhile.

Belladonna wants me to do it as soon as possible so she can go find Henrik but she's trying not to rush me. I would thank her for that but her obsessive twirling bracelet and fiddling her thumbs are getting on my nerves.

Finally, I find myself walking through the village where everyone is already up and doing what they need to do. My eyes wandering in search for Kol but also looking out for Mikael. I guess it would make no difference but I certainly prefer him far away where he can't put anything in Kol's head. Faith is a big deal to many. I fear that alone is enough for Kol to turn his back on me, promise or not. I fear he may hate me forever.

Belladonna grips my hand to give me reassurance without speaking. My thoughts creating a storm in my head and Belladonna has to guide me practically out of everyone's way. I am more thankful for her than anyone realizes. She has a way to keep me sane at times like this. I really need her with all these negative emotions weighing on my chest that will completely go away when I come clean to Kol. I hate the burden of this secret. It wasn't a secret before we moved here and now I feel like I'm hiding everything.

Belladonna squeezes my hand tighter and it brings me back to reality with slow paces. I look down at her but her eyes are forward with an expression of concern with a crease on her forehead. Clouded eyes with a frown does her no good on her beautiful face and the look she has only adds onto my negativity today.

"I am sorry, sister, that you have to do this" my eyebrows furrow slightly until I glance up to see what she's starring at. I stiffen like a block of wood when my eyes land on him. A shaky breath leaving my lips and my palms start to sweat. The nervousness seems to grow stronger until i'm about to have a mental breakdown.