A Choice with Regrets [Levi Ackerman]

26

"I entrust you all to be ready for our expedition tomorrow in Wall Maria. There is no time to waste, so let's gather all of our strengths to fight by getting enough rest." Erwin demands as Levi's squad members including myself stand in his office. We then ball up our right fist to slam it against our chest and the other behind our back to salute. "Yes, sir!"

As for me, saluting is nearly impossible since my right arm is in the process of healing, but faster than I thought so I will be on the battlefield in no time. I can rotate my arm and holding a blade is no problem. My pain tolerance is quite high for this next expedition and I am not willing to sit around while innocent lives within the walls are suffering by the titans as we speak. Levi, on the other hand, seemed a bit dissatisfied at the moment, "Erwin. May I request something?"

Erwin's including ourselves switch our attention over to Levi and he nods his head. "Yes, Levi?"

"I don't think Sina should join us in the next expedition."

My eyes widen in disbelief at what he just said and just by looking around, we all have the same reactions. "Levi, it's fine. I promise I'm already feeling better."

"I'm not letting you until you're fully recovered," Levi tells me with a stern tone. He is not fully restricting me this time since I am now a soldier of the Survey Corps, but there are still some limitations coming from him."Even if you are fully recovered, I still don't want you going out just yet. Just wait until the outside is less risky."

I winced at his words because it seemed like he did not fully trust me. Not even as a soldier. Not even as myself. "When will all of this become less risky? Are you saying I should sit around while innocent lives are being eaten by mindless titans? I honestly think the world is not getting any more peaceful than now."

"Sounds like you are only keeping Sina to yourself like a precious gem." Viktor scoffs at the situation that we are awkwardly in. "How very selfish of you, captain."

Erwin was listening the whole time and rubbed a hand over his mouth, thinking what he should carefully say next until Zaiya interrupted. "I don't mind either way. Not like it's going to make a difference with or without her."

"Zaiya!" Abel threatened her with his sharp tone but that wasn't going to intimidate Zaiya. I was truly hurt overall, but what hurt me the most was that Levi was doubting my abilities. How can I convince him to think that I am not going to be taken down so easily? That day when he rescued me from the titan cult really left a scar on him because he almost lost a part of his sanity and that was me. He does not want to risk losing another person after Isabel and Farlan.

"Sina, you were targeted by many because they see you as a valuable being, but I am not willing to take that risk again. You are going to keep a low profile until I say so. This is an order." Levi threatens me not as a friend, but as a comrade.

"You're something, captain." I boldly say to him. I definitely saw the new side of him I wish I never did. Sure, he was always this cold-hearted, but I never thought he was this selfish. "If you have more to say about me, then just say it."

Those words caused him to clench his jaw, which was pretty frightening coming from him. "That's it. I'm going to fucking say it. Ever since you came into my life, you keep following my footsteps like a damn stray. I decided to accept you back then because the world is always after you, but now that I think about it, I regret having you here. All you are doing is getting yourself killed and once that happens, I will never forgive myself."

Those words struck me right through the heart like a poisonous dagger, because I never thought that Levi had these hateful feelings towards me. It makes me wonder why he is finally telling me these things now in front of everybody. Is he saying this just to scare me away? Am I a heavy burden to this hopeless man?