A Choice with Regrets [Levi Ackerman]

24

"We have to find her now! She's being tortured as we speak!" Viktor snapped and we all shifted our eyes towards him. "Are you all just going to stand here and grieve for her death ahead of time!?"

"Viktor... we have to figure out the safest method to save Sina. We're not trying to rush this or else the situation will get worse." Abel tries to convince him, but Viktor is being ignorant as usual. His eyes are mainly glaring at me, trying to indirectly tell everyone that I am the one to blame, so I lift my head.

"You are my comrades, and I am not seizing you." I clarified, telling them they are free to make their own choices. "But if I don't take full control, you will go beyond my grasp. So try to stick with me even when you're acting on your own."

"I suppose..." Zaiya shrugs slightly, but she is showing the least concern out of all of us. Abel on the other hand is coming up with a plan, so he remains silent.

Viktor scoffs at us. "Since nobody is taking this situation seriously, I'll go find her myself!"

"Don't be an idiot, will you?" Zaiya glared at him, "We're literally getting ourselves involved with a titan cult, so there's no time for you to play as the prince charming for Sina."

"The hell did you say?" A vein popped on Viktor's head and he clenched his teeth at her with anger. "Just because you're stronger than me does not mean I can't beat you to a pulp. So don't test me."

"This isn't about me or you, Viktor. I don't give a fuck about what you or other people think." Zaiya sets him straight with a death glare. "How about we all just get a good night's sleep to think our way through this problem, yeah?"

"What do you think if we act now? They're so close, we can get them in one simple move!" Viktor grabs Zaiya by the shoulders but immediately regrets it when she flips him over in the blink of an eye. She was already sitting on his back with her knee pinning him down and his arms locked in her hands. She leans down to whisper into his pale ear. "That would put the plan at risk, you shithead."

"Stop it you two! Let's not argue this out here." Abel runs up to them with a panicked look. "How about we just wait until tomorrow morning for Captain Levi to give us orders?"

After hearing Abel say that, it makes me aware that he puts enough trust in me. But that just makes me feel even more responsible.

"He can't do anything, because he doesn't have a plan!" Viktor tries to push it, but I am not playing his little games.

"I do have a plan, but it has nothing to do with you. I can deal with a lot of things but I can't excuse this repetition of the behavior." I walk over to him just to make sure he is listening to my remarks. "Rather than picking a fight with me, how about you train your mind to become stronger than your shitty attitude. You will just end up losing yourself every time, and bringing Sina back alive will become very slim, so get it together."

From there, I take my leave from the room and close the door behind me.

For some time, we were able to track down the titan cult thanks to Hange based on her observations, and tonight, we will leave to bring Sina back alive. The tension of being close to the enemies has been rising with every passing minute. It is expected to arrive at our destination on the other side of Wall Rose tomorrow evening, so the sooner we leave, the better.

My squad members without Sina feel a little off and it makes me worry every time I think about her. Though the rest of his squad was upset by my behavior earlier, the atmosphere around us did feel a little awkward. I am aware that I am abnormal, in the way I see things, but because of it, I will be faster to react to a crisis than any of them. If I have to play the lunatic and kill some people to save some portion of humanity then I will, but it would be better if someone else simply seized control of the world so things do not come to that point.

"Captain, you seem fidgety." Abel noticed my uneasiness and I shook my head to straighten myself on my horse, tightening my grip on the reins. I have a very tidy personality, so I don't like unfinished business. "Let's rescue Sina from those bastards." And from there, we advance into the silent night.

⚔︎

[Sina's POV]

I can't even talk right now due to the dryness of my throat and not knowing how many nights have passed, my body is growing weaker without actual food or water. My heart is filled to the brim of sadness and my body is dehydrated.

These cult followers would do anything but give me normal food. They only offered human remains and blood, and while doing so, they would worship below my feet all day long. This religion of theirs is driving them abroad as they search for salvation with the use of lit candles. They would mumble their prayers before me, and bow their heads to kiss the earth before spilling blood from their palms into a cup, which I find disturbing.

Ever since I was brought into the cathedral, the followers may not leave unless Lucas lets them do certain tasks outside the cathedral such as hunting for innocent humans or having a lookout. And of course, no outsiders are granted entry nor permitted inside this cathedral of worship. This cathedral is well hidden from civilization since we are in the middle of the woods, so it is hard for outsiders to track us.

I choose to stay silent, but the sounds of the hushed prayers before me have never died down. This whole time, I have been listening and find their teachings very unsettling. The titan worshippers possess knowledge about the world that is hidden from the general public and they seem to know more about the world outside the walls than anybody else, which peaks my curiosity. It even surprises me how they were able to get their hands on these illegal resources from the outside world.

Lucas, sitting before me, was constantly praying in a distracted way and clutching at his book. That book he was holding was the most fruitful of them all. I wish to read it myself, but that is impossible because that book only belongs to Lucas and the only way to gain knowledge from it is by listening through his mumbled reading. Even though it was difficult to listen, I was desperate to understand what was really out there. Where I really came from when I was a newborn.

Lucas once explained to me that within Wall Sina, their people were eliminated, books on logic were destroyed, their beliefs were forbidden, and religious teaching was abolished. Then, the titan worshippers were ignored and forgotten. These are all the books they saved. Knowing these followers, they would sacrifice their own lives if it meant the protection of their secrets. To be free from this world, they will pay with their lives. Only by the hands of the titans.

Lucas and the followers had demonstrated very fully how great their desire to serve me was. Their eyes shoot through my soul every time I look at them and chills would always run down my pale back.

I want to flee from this place more than ever, but no matter how far I go, it'll be the same as here. Filled with titans and enemies.

"What seems to be troubling you, Sina? You are very silent tonight." Lucas was observing me and I tried to contain myself without showing him any fear.

"I am planning on how to escape from you hopeless swine." I hissed, which made Lucas crack a small smile since he found my threat amusing.

"Just give up. You are surrounded by talented disciples that can lay hands on you if you try to do anything reckless." Lucas shows his teeth as his smile grows bigger. "No one is coming to save you."

"No, just you wait." I silence him. "Somebody is coming to save me and his name is Levi. He is sent to cleanse the world of titans. Just sit back and watch as he slaughters your little disciples."

"How cute." he chuckles. "This man named Levi... I have heard that name spread like a virus within the walls. I assume he is that powerful, but I highly doubt that his strength is more powerful than our knowledge."

I desperately want to see Levi more than I want to flee from this awful place. All I can do is hold on for my dear life just for him. I know that if I die here, he will live with regrets for the rest of his life and carry them to his grave. I silently pray to myself, hoping he will find me soon before it is too late.