Internally

issue

"Dad, you were a father at 17. Can you help in anyway?" I sighed.

"Yeah, I was. But I also wasn't there. So anything I do or say won't help for shit." He answered. It then hit me.

"Wait... Hold up..."

I ran to my car. I got out the box of condoms. We wore one yesterday. And I didn't cum inside her today. So it may not be mine. I looked at the expiration date. Aaaand they're expired.

"FUUUUUUCK!" I yelled.

"Jeremy! That is no language a young man should be using!"

I looked behind me and stood up. I closed the car door still holding the box to take it in and throw it away. Linda was walking her dog right as I was in my car and yelled fuck.

"Apologies. I didn't realize you were there." I apologized.

"What would make you say that?!"

"Well my girlfriend's pregnant and I was skeptical. Do I went and looked at the box or condoms we used. And just learned that they're expired."

The only reason I told her was because I was hoping that'd make her leave. She looked at me with a disgusted look. I ran back inside and went to my room. I threw them away and flopped down onto my bed and groaned. Emma started calling me.

"Welcome to the jungle. We got fun and games. How may I help you?" I answered the phone. I try my best to add humor even if I can't laugh.

"I'm ditching school at lunch. I have a brother that my family blocked out a long time ago. I just got in contact with him recently. And we're gonna meet up at the Starbucks." She announced. I thought for a second.

"You just got back in contact with someone, supposedly your brother. Who your family blocked out a long time ago. And you're ditching school to meet up with him tomorrow." I repeated. "Yeah, no... That doesn't seem completely safe. I'm going with you incase you get hurt."

"That's why I called and told you... I was hoping you'd do that." She responded.

"Also. I got a question." I started. "You said that today was only your second time having sex. When was the first time? I just wanna make sure."

"It was a year ago. Do you not trust me?"

"It's not just you. I swear. I don't trust anyone, including myself. I have severe trust issues." I pleaded.

"Why do you have trust issues?"

"Just past experiences with different people." I sighed. After a few more minutes of talking we hung up.

I walked out of my room and went to the back porch. I needed a stress relief. Ugh. I light a cigarette covering it with my hand and bent over a little so the wind won't put it out. I looked up and saw my dad looking right at me.

"Hey. You smoke too. So what's the problem with me doing it?" I tried to bail myself out of trouble.

"Yeah, I but I do it legally." He responded. I put out the cigarette and sighed.

"Dad, I've never been more scared in my life. And that's saying a lot meaning I was held at gun point before. I can't be a father."

"Hold the fuck up. When the hell were you held at gun point?" He hissed.

"When I was 16. I was hanging out with a few of my friends. We were high and I pissed one of them off. So their first reaction was that." I answered. I wish I never would've brought that up. "Put that person is in jail. And I already blocked the others out of my life."