My Au Pair Nightmare

Chapter 19

"On a cold and gray Chicago mornin' A poor little baby child is born, In the ghetto" - Elvis

The next day I went to the kitchen to see if I could find some cereals. I said hello to the nanny and looked around for a food bowls. I was hungry and I just had to close my nose so I could make it through. I could not find any so I opened the dishwasher to see if there would be some clean plates. I opened the lid to a mass grave! It smelled like a bunch of dead animals were stacked inside the dishwasher. I lost my breath and the acid in my stomach rose to my mouth. I was not having any breakfast that day, or any other day for that matter. I ran outside to keep myself from vomiting. The fresh air was all I could count on these days.

I was exhausted from not having anything other to eat than the few sunflower seeds I had left in my bag and I was dehydrating. I counted the last few coins I had and headed to Burger King. It was a pretty long walk but then I had an excuse to not be back for the next long time. I ordered a coke and some fries, sat down and called the agency again. "I am very sorry to disturb once again but..." I told about the conversation I had with the mother and what had happened this morning.

"I have no money left! I am starving! You have to send someone out today before I totally lose my mind!" I have no idea how much I was crying these days but it was more than I had for years. I did not even know I could cry that much.

They had been in contact with the mother and told me she had expressed I was depressed. Now that again? "I told her I was not feeling well, I don't know if she sees that as depressed but I don't."

I was told to sent pictures of the house to the agency, so totally against my principles I took a few pictures when I came back to the house and focused on the kitchen so they could see I was not overreacting. I felt horrible doing this but it was the only way I could get someone out faster than next week. It was Thursday and two days had passed since I had had a proper meal, and most people know how small flight meals are.

***

My skin and throat were drying out, my hair was lifeless and my eyes were soulless. I was dead on the inside and now I was dying on the outside too.

My soul was shining through and it was trying to tell me something – it was time for me to go home. For the first time since my first au pair meeting I thought about the Danish girl who had told me there was no place like home. I understood her words now. Though the weather was still bad at this time of year I was seriously homesick, I missed my bed, my books, my TV and my job at the church. I missed Chico. I knew he was gone and he would still be gone when I came back but I had a serious need to sit by his grave and feel his spirit. I missed my parents, I missed by grandparents and I missed my rabbits. I even missed my sister.

I could not handle it anymore and neither could I stay in that house for one more day. I wrapped myself in a warm blanket and moved out on the sidewalk. Considering that the family did not notice this tells me they did not care either.

My mom was scared to death, as she knew the Agency had listed Chicago as one of the dangerous areas and I told her she had not taken me seriously. She had told me I could just start cleaning. Sure, where would I begin? Where would I end? It would take me months! And you do not move in with complete strangers and start cleaning their house and throw all their stuff away; she had to get real.

I was voluntarily homeless until the au pair agency found out and the result – they could all of a sudden react fast.

***

Morgan was a good God loving catholic. He picked me up from the streets and had an inspection of the house. He gave me a hug and said everything would be all right; God was merciful. He sat down with the family and we had the discussion. Starting with the airport situation: The host mom excused it by saying she was not picked up at the baggage claim when she arrived in Chicago to be an au pair.

The next thing was the allergies: The host mom rolled her eyes and said, "I have a list."

The next thing was the house. This is were she pointed fingers at me and said, "I told you my house was not the cleanest!" I nodded and said, "yes, but you did not tell me it was a giant mess and a germ bomb."

I could tell this was her pride I was stepping on by now. "Backstabber. You are no different than the people you just left."

Those words stung like a bee as I had in fact tried to express how I felt but I had been told not to go into details without a contact person by my side. Morgan stood up and said I was coming with him because this would not end well. We never came to the discussion of the cat or all the other things I wanted to talk about. He put my suitcases in his car and we drove off.

"You must be starving," he said as he pulled into a sandwich place. I made my own sandwich and we had a good conversation. "Those people cared about their own needs. I spoke to them and they kept telling me to hurry because the kids had to go to bed. I have a job and I live two hours away and they did not think about that". I think I swallowed the sandwich and throw my water bottle down my throat. I could not remember the last time I had felt such a satisfaction from food. I could easily had eaten one more and he even asked but I said no thanks as I did not want to use him.

As we drove off again he told me he had another au pair living in his house so I would not be alone. "And my wife is a vegetarian so we have plenty of food for you."

The nightmare was coming to an end. This man was nice beyond words and so was his wife Britt.

"Our house is not that dirty but we do have 3 dogs." I smiled and said, "I love dogs, and no worries, I'm not hysteric but that was above what I can tolerate." He nodded and said, "Yeah, when we accept families we look at their houses and see if it is unsafe. If it is safe we can accept it. The house was not a death threat which is why it passed but I doubt I had accepted it." He pulled into his driveway. Britt greeted me with a big hug. "You are safe here." She said. And I was. The three dogs met me with wiggling tails and I met Alice from Germany who was the other au pair they were housing.

I was actually happy to have another girl my age in the house, someone who understood how hard it is to go through a transition. Her host family was getting divorced and they had not told the agency. Alice had been the one to tell the agency and after that she had been rehoused. It had been a crazy family she had stayed with but she had managed to do it for 17 months. Now they wanted to involve her in the lawsuit of custody and everything was chaos around her.

This is the reality of au pairs. I am not telling you this to scare you away if you consider to try it out for yourself but to warn you.

My nightmare is not the only one out there. I have stories to tell. So if you ever want to take the chance; be careful!