a love worth dying for~ (bob duncan x bertram novel)

the dismember (bertram's pov)

I stepped into my room, pocket knife in hand as I walked over to Jessie. I leaned over, holding the knife above her corpse. The knife hovered above the skin around her wrist and I made a few practice swipes to figure out the correct mark. When I had practiced enough, I slid the knife into her skin quickly, I'd have to work quickly before her body began to stiffen. I jumped when Bob spoke up, turning to look at the man I loved.

"Hey, baby," Bob called from the hallway, "take it to the kitchen first, okay?"

I nodded, "Right-yeah," I grabbed her body by the armpits, dragging her backwards and down the stairs clumsily. Her legs hit the stairs at unnatural angles, bending and moving limply. I finally arrived at the kitchen, placing her gently on the large island. I side-stepped over to a counter, inspecting the knife block. Should I go with the one that would make the cleanest cuts or do the quickest job? I finally selected the butcher knife, deciding speed would be better than quality. I returned my attention to Jessie, sighing softly. For a second I thought maybe we shouldn't be doing this, but I quickly brushed it off. We had to do this, we had to. I positioned the knife on top of her wrist once more, bracing myself to slide my tool into her. I raised the knife before slamming it down onto her wrist joint, I felt myself jump as the loud clang rang through the nearly empty penthouse. I repeated the motion a few more times before grabbing a smaller, more precise knife and finishing the job.

I held up the severed hand at a distance, where was I supposed to put it now? I wrinkled my nose as the coppery smell of blood began to fill the room. Quickly, I grabbed a plastic bag and slid the hand into it, sealing it tightly. I put the bag in the farthest corner of the freezer, under some expired ice cream. That should work for now. Returning to the bloody corpse, I wrinkled my nose as the metallic tang of blood hit me once more, stronger than ever with a steady flow of blood came from her. I realized I'd have to hurry up if I wanted to finish before the kids got bored and came home. As I began to work quicker, I noticed the cuts were getting sloppier, but I didn't have time to care. Blood dotted the black-and-white flooring, splotching on the island and surrounding items. As time progressed, the freezer began to fill with more dismembered body parts until I finally got to the torso. I wasn't quite sure how to go about cutting it up, however, I decided it'd be best to just cook this part whole instead of dealing with cutting it up into slices. I winced. What was happening to me? I shook out my shoulders, shutting my eyes tight. When I opened them, I felt calmer. I had to do this, I had to do this, I had to do this.

I got to work prepping her torso for dinner the same way I would any slab of meat. Skinning, adding spices, marinading, and cooking it in the oven. I could only hope the kids wouldn't notice how different the shape was from, say, a turkey. They won't. I told myself. They won't notice, they can't notice. You wouldn't have to worry about them noticing if you didn't do this. A small voice in my head whispered. I pressed my palms against my temple, clenching my eyes shut once more. Stop, stop, stop! I was shaken from my thoughts when I heard Bob speak up. How long had he been there?

"Bob's murder tip of the day," Bob declared confidently "Straight up bleach is too much, watering it down does the trick."

I nodded, caught off guard. An almost flustered laugh escaped my mouth before I could stop it. That's why I had to do this. To be with the man I loved more than anyone. To show those kids who I really was. To finally be happy. I watched Bob walk out before returning my attention to Jessie. I finally had readied the body for cooking, sliding it into the oven. I got to work cleaning up all the blood, using watered down bleach like Bob had suggested to get rid of the stains. After finishing in the kitchen, I stepped into the living room to see Bob's progress.