Secrets |Sidemen FF|

66

Tobi grabbed my hand, kissing me quickly. "Thinking about others, like you said." Tobi whispered, making me have a genuine smile on my face. "You can drive my car back to yours if you want, I'll stay with Barry." Tobi says, standing up, me and Simon starting to stand up as well. "I'll drop Simon off at his." I say and Tobi nodded, looking at me and then at Simon, I know him being a little cautious.

"It's fine Tobi." I say and Tobi smiled at me and nodded. Before sighing. "Well I'll see you later Simon." Tobi smiled and Simon smiled at me and then at Tobi. "I'll see you later Tobi, and I'll see you hopefully as well Barry." He says and Barry just nodded. Before Tobi left the cafeteria with Barry. Leaving me and Simon standing there awkwardly in the large room.

"Come on. Let's get you home." I say and Simon nodded, looking down at his hands and holding them as we left the hospital, thanking the receptionist before leaving.

"So how are you and Tobi?" Simon asked and I felt my heart pang slightly. Like someone flicked it with the mentioning of us two. "We're good at the moment. Just a few spats." I say and he nodded. Us getting to Tobi's car and opening the doors, getting into the car.

"What was that fight between you two about?" Simon asked as I started the engine, putting my seatbelt on. I looked over at him, him looking down at his hands, but a concerned look was still on his face.

"It was an argument that I don't know. Got out of hand." I say and Simon nodded. "So like the argument we had?" He said and I looked at him. Swallowing as I remembered the hurt that I felt from his untrustworthiness. And that he couldn't trust me when I trusted him with everything.

"I guess." I say. Driving out of the car park and onto the main road. "Was it about vik?" Simon asked, my blood going cold as I heard his name. A name that didn't deserve the outcome of what happened to him. "Kind of." I whisper. Him nodding.

"I often think to myself if he would still be here if I didn't push him over the edge." He says and I nod. Staying focused on the road. "I think rebecca really turned you into a nasty person, and made you feel like you needed to express your hurt through other people, and being horrible." I say and Simon nodded. "I don't really see her anymore, the medications helping me a lot." "You take medication?" "Yeah. Ever since Lucy came into the mix she really helped try and ground myself again." He says and I nod.

"So why did you persist on making me angry back at the house." I say and Simon sighed. Looking out at the window.

"I was hoping you would get so angry and to shut me up you would kiss me." He admitted. My heart dropping as he said that. And I went into a silence as I was shocked that he would. Think it would work.

"That wouldn't have worked." I say and he sighed. Yet I think we both caught onto that small bit of uncertainty in my voice. "I know... But you was so close to me that it felt right." He says and I just sighed.

"I don't know Simon." "You feel something still. I know you do. And I can't say that I don't feel anything. You're the only thing keeping me going." He says and I shook my head on instinct. Yet for some reason I couldn't bring the words up to say that there wasn't something. The overwhelming statements of what he's been saying these past few days have been insanely spiralling around my head.

"Even if I did feel something, it's not like I can act on that." "Why not." "Because I love Tobi." I say and he shakes his head before smiling small. Turning his body so he was facing me.

"If you loved Tobi you would of insisted on taking Barry home and not me." Simon stated and my cheeks went red as I knew exactly what he meant. "Tobi was waiting for you to say for you to take Barry home. And you never said anything. That's why he needed reassurance by the way he looked at me. Let's face the facts josh. You're better friends with Barry than everyone else in the group. So how come you're in this car with me tonight and not with him." He says and I was completely tongue tied in not knowing what to say.

We pulled up to simons house. Simon sighing as I parked up. Yet both of us didn't move. Didn't speak. Just stared at each other. Stared and really took in the reality of the situation.

"I'll walk you to your door." I say and he nodded. Yet didn't move, just looked at me, and then down.

"Josh." Simon says, his voice quiet and nimble. "Yeah." I say and he looked down, picking his fingers this time as he bit his lip, his leg bouncing slightly. And my heart exploaded and shattered into nervous butterflies as the feelings of sadness from Viks death and the overwhelming feeling of need as the five words left his lips.

"Can you stay with me."
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Maybe you didn't see this ending, but I don't knows it leaves it on that scenario of maybe a love hate relationship.

I hope you guys enjoyed this book. And I hope the ending wasn't too out of the blue. But yeah. I enjoyed this book even after not writing it for a year, but I think after that little writers block we did pretty well haha.

Please maybe leave some suggested ideas for new books or anything, I have some drafts but I don't know if I will continue with them. Thank you for sticking with me along the way and not giving up on this book like what I did. And you stayed to see the ending you guys deserved. So thank you!

Love you all
Sammie x