Night Sky (Harry Styles)

14. fights

CHAPTER 14: FIGHTS

Monday, May, 29th 2017 - San Francisco, California

When Beth, Harry and I step out of the car we meet a rather unamused Sam. His facial expression looks sour and askance. Pretending like nothing happened, I walk over to him and give him a short kiss on the cheek. Dylan rushes over to Beth and shoots question after question at her. Jess, too, rushes over to Harry and hugs him like she hasn't seen him in a year, then quickly runs over to Beth, asking about for all the details.

"What the hell happened this time?" Sam hisses and pushes me away from him to look at me sternly.

"Hasn't Harry told you already?" I ask him frowning.

"He said Beth is at the hospital and that she was unconscious. He didn't say why the hell that even happened!", Sam crosses his arms in front of his chest and leans against the hood of his car as I awkwardly stand in front of him, "Really, what is it with him? First you get lost and now he nearly kills someone!"

"Beth was provoking Harry and he...he kinda lost control and then he tried to pull over and we were, like, scraping against the guardrail. But nothing happened!"

"Nothing happened? Beth had to go to the hospital! Harry could have fucking killed you!" Sam almost shouts but then seems to realize that Harry is standing only a few feet away from him.

"But we're not dead, we're still alive. So stop worrying." I say and give him a smile, trying to show him that everything is okay.

"You really need to grow up," Sam shakes his head, "How can you walk through life not giving a single fuck?"

"What? That's not what I'm doing." I defend myself and cross my arms in front of my chest, just like Sam.

"No, that's exactly what you do. But as much of a blessing as it might be now, it will be a curse later because at one point you'll have to stop putting yourself first all the time. Then you'll see how fucked up you really are." Sam tells me. His brown eyes intensely stare at me before he walks away and enters the restaurant with the rest of the group.

But I don't follow them. Instead I open the door of the backseat of Sam's car and sit down, letting my foot dangle out of the car. I catch a bottle of red wine next to me. Sighing, I open it and take a sip. I should have followed my friends inside and ate pizza with them but Sam's words have put a weight on me.

I lean forward between the driver and passenger seat to reach the glove box where my pack of cigarettes is. Halfheartedly, I light one and take a deep drag. The poisonous smoke fills my lungs and burns my throat. The taste is disgusting but somehow addicting. The bitter yet sweet taste of red wine doesn't make it any better.

Right now I must look pathetic to pedestrians. Sitting here in the back of the car, alone in a parking lot outside a restaurant, with only a bottle of red wine in my hand and a cigarette between my lips. My boyfriend, who I'm betraying, is sitting inside with my best friend, who I'm also betraying. What a fucking mess I have gotten myself into.

After I finished my  cigarette, I feel a stinging pain in my chest. Sam hasn't come out yet to look after me. No one has.

Then you'll see how fucked up you really are.

Sam's word repeat in my head. Is that really how he thinks of me? As a fuck-up? Is that what everyone thinks of me? I have never looked at myself like that. Sure, I like going out, I drink underage and I sometimes smoke a cigarette. But I also listen to my friends problems, graduated with a great GPA, I'm nice to my parents, I sometimes volunteer at my local dog shelter and...what am I doing trying to come up with a list of things that make me look like a good person, when I cheated on not only one but two people? That alone makes me a bad person. I throw away the cigarette and lay down on my back. My eyes stare at the grey ceiling of the car, feet still dangling out of the car.