Night Sky (Harry Styles)

55. thoughts

CHAPTER 55: THOUGHTS

                              Friday, July 14th 2017 - Eugene, Oregon

                   Lost in thoughts, I stir my coffee with a spoon. After we left the parking lot of the hospital, Harry and I decided to stop by a little coffee shop that seemed appetizing. We sat down and ordered a coffee. Or at least I did, Harry ordered a hot chocolate. He has never been a big fan of coffee.

 We haven't spoken much since we left the hospital. During the car ride we joked around a bit but mostly just listened to some music. Silence has taken over us ever since we got out of the car. It's not an awkward silence. It's the silence that emerges when you get lost in your own thoughts, drifting off further and further. It's like you stand ankle-deep in the ocean and you like it so you go in farther but at one point it's not you who controls how far you go in there. It's the ocean and the ocean pulls you away from the sore with each wave, with each breath and then you're lost in the widths of the sea.

  "...to take the money?" Harry's voice becomes louder and clearer to my ears with each word he says. However, I completely missed the beginning. I shift my gaze from the street next to us to his face.

 A frown is on Harry's face which makes the crease appear between his eyebrows. His bright, fern green eyes are being lit up by the harsh light of the midday sun. Harry has taken off his head scarf and instead pulled his brown hair back in a bun. Sunglasses rest on top of his head.

 Confused and slightly disorientated, I shake my head, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

  "I said I do not understand why you don't want to take the money. The money I offered you," Harry says and leans back in his chair, folding his arms in front of his muscular chest, "It's the least I can do for you. Money is not an issue."

  "I know it's not for you but I don't feel comfortable having you pay for me."

  "Stella, I don't mind. I just want this to be over with as quick as possible."

  "I do too but I feel weird about it. It's my mistake. I should take care of it."

  "What if he finds you and wants the money and you don't have it? Then what?"

  "I don't know, Harry, but I don't think he is going to kill me right away."

  "You think he has a gun?" Harry asks.

  "I was joking." I tell him but his shoulders don't relax.

  "I'm not letting you meet him on your own, that's for fuckíng sure." Harry says and he is worried but sounds determined.

 I love this protective side of him. I probably would never admit it out loud but I loved the way Harry defended me the night of Sam's birthday party. That he fought Sam isn't right and that Sam broke Harry's nose is wrong too but I love that Harry has enough courage and is willing to take such risk in order to keep me safe.

  "Do you think Beth has a real drug problem? Harry asks me.

  "You can't get addicted to molly."

  "She said she's tried other stuff." Harry reminds me, "And she's been going overboard with it. She's literally in the hospital right now."

 I look down at my coffee. Thoughtfully, I take a sip and then keep stirring it with the spoon in my hand.

 There's no denying that Beth is going overboard with it. She is willing to sell her body for something so destructive. Beth obviously thinks that she needs to get high otherwise she wouldn't let this Frank guy have his way with her when she likes Dylan.