xiii

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A month and half.

And a half.

Rey has been training with Luke for a month and a half. She's been getting better and you're sitting here trying to recover from a stupid lightsaber wound that Kylo gave you, no less. Your master has hurt you so bad you can't even train.

You bang your head against your hospital bed.

"Literally my life is so confusing." You say to the roof, staring at it angrily.

"You'll get used to it. Master Ren is being awfully mean to us." A voice pipes up.

"Hey Annie." You lift your head up and smile weakly. The small girl had come to visit you everyday since you had been admitted.

She brought you books to read and actual food, not the slop they served at the cafeteria.

Annie had been a real hit with the cooks because of how sweet and innocent she was. Due to that fact, she got better food rations and sometimes even sweets like cookies or brownies. Today, she has brought you small frosted cakes.

"What do you mean he's being mean to you?" You ask.

"Matthew and I are having trouble grasping the context of the Force. And Master Ren said that I'm much to sweet to be a Sith."

"Oh he did?" You grin.

"Yes. But I don't have much interest in being evil. I just needed to get us off of that miserable planet." Annie says.

"I've never been to Corellia. What's it like?" You ask.

Annie sets the cakes and two books down on your nightstand. She sighs.

"Corellia is.... Well it's the biggest planet in the Corellia system. Everyone that's there is either a factory worker or an orphan. Me and Matthew met when we were found by Garris Shrike. She takes orphaned kids and makes them steal in exchange for safety and living conditions. There's also no way to get off the planet without being found. Me and Matthew were Shrike's favorite because we could do tricks that no one else could. I hated stealing from people because we were all in the same condition but you can't just live on streets. There's drunk men and crazy people that are just waiting for a small kid to come around. Corellia is just...a terrible place. That's why when Master Ren asked if we wanted to join him I said yes. I didn't realize what it would mean."

Annie quickly covered her mouth.

"I think I said too much." She whispered.

You placed your hand over hers.

"You said enough." You say, smiling at her.

You pull off your blankets and place both feet on the floor.

Standing up, Annie gasps.

"Sit back down Astrid! You're going to hurt yourself!"

"That's ok. I've been stitched up at least four times now. I'm fine. Besides, I feel a lot better. No more pain." You walk out the door, but not before grabbing your black cardigan off of the nightstand.

Annie follow you.

"Where are you going?" She hisses.

"To talk to Ren."

"That's Master Ren to you Astrid."

"I'll call him whatever I want." You say.

Annie sighs and follows you.

Not really knowing where you're going, you let the Force guide you.

Kylo is clearly upset and he's angry.

You call out to him with the Force. He pushes you out if his head.

"Annie. Go find Matthew and keep yourselves busy and away from Kylo until he's better."

"Astrid what's wrong with him?" Annie asks.

"I'm not sure. He's angry and that makes him dangerous."

"Astrid please don't get hurt." Annie tugs on your shirt sleeve.

"I'll be fine Annie. Now go." You push her along until she gets the hint.

Once Annie has rounded the corner you scamper up to Kylo's quarters.

You lift your hand to knock but the door opens immediately.

You peek your head inside but there's no sign of anyone.

You step inside the room and the door closes shut behind you.

"Kylo?" You ask.

It's silent.

You feel a pulling and walk over to the connected bathroom.

Opening that door, you find nobody.

You sigh and begin to turn away but something catches your eye.

It's a groove in the wall, from the ceiling yo the floor.

You step towards the wall and push on one side if the groove.

The door slides open under your touch and you almost fall forward.

A dark figure stands up and stalks towards you.

You back up and hit a wall.

"What are you doing here." Kylo asks you. His voice is filled with anger.

"I was looking for you." You say meekly.

"I shut you out for a reason. Don't come looking for me unless I ask you to."

"But you're upset! I've just come to help, it's not big deal-"

"I don't need your help Astrid. What I need is for you to leave."

"Fine. I'll just go back to my room." You turn.

"No. I need you to leave Starkiller. I can't get you out if my head. You're distracting and you're making me want-" Kylo's voice is strained.

"Making you want what?" You ask.

"Making me want things that only a Jedi wants. And I am not a Jedi. I am a Sith. The most powerful Sith. It's my birthright to follow in Darth Vader's steps."

"But that doesn't mean you can't want things."

"I can't want you. And that's the problem. I want you Astrid, more than I want to be a Sith."

"Kylo-" Your breath catches in your throat. You step forward and touch Kylo's shoulder. He shudders but doesn't step back.

"Kylo I... I want you too." You whisper.

"You do?" His eyes search yours. "Oh, you do." His voice is soft and full of longing.

"Of course I do. Why would I be lying?" You whisper. The two of you are close again.

"Because I'm a monster."

"You are not a monster Kylo Ren." You say to him. You look up into his eyes and almost break apart. They're such a rich, deep brown color.

He leans in the same instant you do and your lips brush before you begin to kiss with brushing pressure.

You hands find Kylo's hair and your running your hands through it, admiring it's silkiness.

You take deep breaths in between kisses.

So this is what it feels like to be wanted.

Kylo chuckles.

"Yes Astrid. This is what it feels like." He smiles.

"Kylo. Stop talking." You say, giggling.

He does as you say and you melt in his arms.

This is exactly what it feels like.


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Hehe cliffhanger. Sorry for not updating last night, I had some major friend problems. And I've been losing inspiration because nobody reads my book. But that's okk. And Astrid and Kylo, hell yeah! Love you guys, mwah🥵

word count: 1140

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