The Secret Admirer |BL|

Chapter 26 - Extraordinary.

"You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear" – Oscar Wilde.

                                                                               He ran...

Marcus panicked and he ran as fast as he could. He had to get out from that apartment. He just had to. In that moment no one could talk him out of it. It was his decision to make, and chose to run.

Stupid, he knew it was. But he couldn't face it. He couldn't wrap his mind around how he'd slept with Julian. The moment Julian kissed his lips then the base of his neck and sucked on that soft skin, he was gone. His mind hazed over and the rest was history.

The moment he stepped out from the apartment and walked into the early morning hallways, which were quiet and stone cold with only florescent lights setting alight the halls, he suddenly felt empty and cold. As if he had just committed the worst crime possible, like he was just lost. Pushing the thoughts into the bad of his mind, Marcus marched down the hallway, adjusting his shirt, and got into the elevator.

                                                                                      He was literally running away....

He was being the exact same kind of person he absolutely detested.

Why was he running way? Was it because he was actually scared, or was that his excuse? Did he fear commitment? His feelings, perhaps?

By the time he reached the ground floor he didn't know anymore. Marcus partially wished Julian had managed to wake up in time and somehow had chased after him, pleading him to stay, like in those romantic movies. But he was sure that Julian was fast asleep. It broke his heart a bit.

Regret was suddenly flooding into his mind... why was he treating Julian like some one night stand? He wasn't just any man that Marcus had met and decided to sleep with. Julian was different. The man had already confessed his love to Marcus. He was shocked, sure, but his chest tightened and heat coursed through him every time he thought about it. He felt special, loved even. What would Julian think when he woke up in an empty bed? How would he feel... broken hearted, rejected, maybe? His heart clenched and he felt sick. That'd be cruel. He didn't want Julian to feel that way. He...

Marcus stopped in his tracks. He what exactly? Why did he care so much, why did it bother him so much? What exactly did he feel towards the man? Yes he was nice, kind, Marcus was just an open book with him, his guards weren't up, and he felt at home, he loved the way he felt whenever he was with Julian, like nothing really mattered. And somehow he always made Marcus smile and laugh. Then it hit him, the answer to all his questions. The exact answer he was running away from.

He, somewhere along the lines, had managed to fall for Julian. He was running away from the words that had escaped his lips when he had woken up. The truth in those words actually.

Marcus was irrevocably in love with Julian Dalton.

And that was what he was running away from. The fear of being venerable, putting his whole in someone else's hands, trusting them wholly. He would just crumble if he'd ever lost Julian just as he'd lost so many others from his life. There would be absolutely nothing left of him to recover. So he was willing throwing it all away for the sake of not getting hurt, for the sake of his sanity? It was a bloody stupid plan.

When he moved his hands from his face, Marcus was stunned. He was standing in front of apartment number two thirteen.  He had no recollection of how he got up there or when he'd done it, but he was back before Julian's apartment.