Just Me - [S. Barber]

Master Plan

"Okay, So the security recordings are in the principal's office here." Stanley says, pointing at his hand drawn blue prints. "Ugh, but it's gotta be locked."

"Whitaker's probably the only one with a key, so that's—"

"No, the janitor's gotta have one." Sydney argues. "Okay. Okay, Uh.." Stanley nods. "Just spitballing ideas here, but m-maybe you can distract the janitor and steal his keys?" Stanley suggests.

"Why me? Get Lia to do it." Sydney shakes her head. "No way." Lia adds. "You never do anything for me. Just do something now." Sydney whisper-shouts.

"I do everything for you, Syd." She argues. "Girls, ladies, hello." Stanley snaps his fingers, grabbing their attention. "Not the time." He states, causing them to sigh.

"We need someone who has..." Sydney trails off. "Boobs." Lia finishes.

Lia and Sydney make their way towards Bradley and Dina, who are making out against the wall. Lia scrunches up her face in disgust.

"Psst. Hey, Dina."  Sydney whispers. "Hey, Syd. She's not gonna hear you, dumbass." Lia responds. Sydney rolls her eyes, before bringing up the volume.

"Hey! Hey, Dina!"

She still doesn't listen. "Look, Dina, I need a tampon right now." She states. Bradley sighs, moving his head aside as Dina glances at the two.

"Just dig in my bag." She responds. "I... I do need you, but for... for something else." She adds anxiously. Dina glances at Brad, before pushing him aside and following the two girls out.

They lead her out to Stanley, and all stare at her, unsure of what to say. "Somebody gonna say something, or..." Dina trails off.

"We— we need your help getting the keys to the principal's office." Stanley explains. "So we can steal some security camera footage." Sydney adds.

Dina snorts. "What?" Once she watches the three of them keep a serious expression, she stops. "You're serious?"

"Um... why? What's on the tape? What'd you guys do?" She chuckles, crossing her arms. "Well, the truth is..." Sydney begins.

"Stan and I had sex in the library and it's.. it's all on tape." She finishes, causing Stanley to give her an awkward glance. Lia rolls her eyes, leaning back onto a locker.

"What?" Dina asks in shock. The three of them nod. "No way." She shakes her head. "Dead serious. It was right there in the library. We sixty-nined and everything." He adds.

"Stan, I think she gets it." Lia whispers. "Alright. I'll help you. What do you need me to do?" She asks.

"Just— woo the janitor or something. You know, use your Dina charm." Lia explains. "My Dina What now?" The curly headed girl chuckles.

"Just go with it." Lia nods her head towards the classroom where they had found the janitor earlier. Dina nods, making her way into the class just as Stanley walks off to figure out their master plan.

A few moments later, she walks back out. "Holy shit. You got 'em." Sydney exclaims. "Pretty sure I set the women's lib movement back a couple decades, but other than that, it went great." Dina states.

"So what's the plan? We got less than 20 minutes."

"The plan.. is quite simple." Stanley says as he returns. "First, we distract Whitaker with burritos."

"Dude, I know the guy's a little overweight but how are burritos gonna distract him?" Lia questions, causing Stanley to laugh. "You can be so naive sometimes, dear Lia. I'm gonna put these in the microwave and blast these bad boys up on high, and then..." he makes a fake explosion.

"Whitaker will hear it and come runnin'" Stanley continues. "I don't think Whitaker has the ability to run, Stanley." Lia chuckles. "That's besides the point."

"When he takes off from the teachers' lounge, the coast'll be clear straight through to the principal's office. And then we make our move."

"Syd, you're the key man... key lady." He corrects himself. "Wait, why am I the key lady?" She inquires. "Because you're good with your hands." He explains.

"Eww." Sydney says in disgust. "Lia, you're gonna stay with Syd and I to steal the tape." He says, eyeing the second Novak.

"Dina, you're lookout."

"Okay." She nods. "You keep eyes on Whitaker. The burrito bomb should keep him busy for a while. That man cannot resist a fire extinguisher, which will give us the time we need to get in."

"Burrito bombs are disgusting." He states. "Last time I set one off, my whole house smelled like bean farts."

"Gross. Why would you do that in your own house?" Lia asks. "Don't— dont ask." He replies. "Anything goes wrong, Dina, you signal us... and everyone take cover."

"That is literally the worst idea I've ever heard." Sydney says. "Agreed." Lia nods.

"It's fair. It's totally fair." He pauses. "Can you think of a better one?"