Tough Love

IV: Sometimes I'm not Who you Want me to be

Yoongi is his best friend, his soulmate, his boyfriend, his saviour, his everything. Yoongi is his world and he is losing him day by day. He sobs again, again and again. Until warm arms settle around him, a chin pressed on the crown on his head. Jungkook instinctively reaches for the arm around his shoulders and holds from it as hard as he can.

"That's okay, Jungkookie, cry. I am here, you can cry" Taehyung tells him and Jungkook has no other choice but to listen. He cries harder, distantly hears as Taehyung closes the office door. It is just them now. Tae hugs him harder and Jungkook feels almost guilty as he is comforted by the person he confused Yoongi with. He can't help it though. It hurts. He's hurt and Yoongi is too, so it hurts even more.

It takes Jungkook several minutes to calm down. Taehyung strokes his back soothingly.

"You okay?" He asks when Jungkook seems calm enough to talk. Jungkook presses a piece of paper against his eyes, a little piece from it getting stuck in between his long eyelashes. Taehyung doesn't hesitate on reaching out to clean it from Kook's face.

"Wanna talk about it?" Taehyung tries a different approach and Jungkook knows he shouldn't. He knows he should not put his vulnerabilities into Taehyung because he is searching for something in Kook that he is not willing to give. Something that already belongs to Yoongi, who chooses to reject it every single day. Jungkook knows he shouldn't and yet he feels so upset, so lonely in this battle that he thinks talking about it is the only way. Even if it's just for a little while, he wants to feel free.

"It's my boyfriend" he begins, softly, carefully. Taehyung takes a seat next to him. Looks at Jungkook with focused and concerned eyes, hands Jungkook a piece of toilet paper. Much needed right now.

"You did say you were not in the best terms" Taehyung hits the nail on the head. Jungkook isn't even sure when he mentioned that to Taehyung but he is glad that he has somewhat of a premise.

"It all started when his best friend passed…"

Jungkook hasn't told anyone about this. Not his parents, not even his brother. Whenever they ask about Yoongi, Jungkook tells them that he is busy while he is often just at home alone because Jungkook has left him there. Unable to confront him after their arguments or fearing his own reaction if Yoongi says one more thing. After all, the greatest victory is that which requires no battle.

Talking about such a personal topic might not be the most professional thing he's ever done at his job, where each hour is paid for him to work, not talk. Even so, he tells Taehyung everything, fully aware that he is probably trusting the wrong person but he doesn't have anyone else. Jimin's gone back to Busan and he hasn't heard of Seokjin in months.

Taehyung listens and hands him pieces of paper whenever he cries harder. Jungkook doesn't know if he's lost or if he has just gotten used to feeling hopeless. He is so tired of crying but there isn't much else he can do. Everything he has tried has failed and now Yoongi is on a darker place. He smokes, he drinks, he drives recklessly, he doesn't eat a lot and fights Jungkook loud enough for the neighbors to hear.

His once fairytale with his college sweetheart has turned into a hell of despair and Jungkook is trying to hang on but the thread he is grabbing will soon break.

"And now, he is someone I've never met. Taehyung- ah. I don't know what to do" he finishes his story bitterly, Taehyung nods. His expression is really blank as if he was drained of thoughts. Jungkook sighs and new tears run down his cheeks. Fall from his eyes as lost raindrops on an August afternoon.