Falling - A Harry Styles Fan-fiction

Part 2

Harry awoke the next morning abruptly when his phone rang in his ear. As his eyes fluttered open and the light in the room caused his head to feel as if it would implode. And thats when it all came flooding back, all the memories and thoughts that he had been drowning out the night before. As his head started to fill, his phone ringing beside him drew his attention away. He grumbled and reached for the phone just to see that it was his manager. Growling in annoyance, Harry chucked his phone at the wall. Knowing he needed too get our of bed and go in to work today, but it was almost as if he's body was filled with rocks. He couldn't will himself to move, his head too full with thoughts of Kendall and his body too full of the gin from last night.

He was alone now. She didn't yell as much as he thought she would. He was certain that Kendall would be furious, throwing things and yelling, calling him all the vile names he deserved to be called. But instead she simply stared. She stared at him until he couldn't take it anymore, he eyes searching his for answers. Why was Harry pushing her away? Why did he hurt her like this?

A finally left a singular tear fall from her face said 5 words that made Harry break.

"Well I still love you."

Then she collected her things and left. Leaving Harry standing in his living room, drink in hand, knowing that he had just ruined everything good in his life.

Harrys thoughts were interrupted when is phone obnoxiously rang again, this time managing to draw his tired body out of bed. Cursing through his teeth as his head spun and his legs fell weak. Harry fell to his knees and placed his head on the floor. He hadn't eaten in days, his stomach filled with only the remains of last nights alcohol. Harry stayed like that on the floor for a few moments, feeling helpless and wishing that he could just fade away.

It took Harry an hour to get off the floor, into the shower and dressed. He was now sitting on his bed waiting for a driver to arrive at his house and take him in to the hotel where he knew his team was waiting for him. He could not imagine walking a red carpet right now but he knew he had to. He still had adoring fans that were counting on him.

As he waited in his room, his mind wandered again,

That night, Harry fell asleep alone in his bathroom floor with a stomach full of a bottle of vodka and the last of his anti depressants. Hoping that he wouldn't wake up again.

But sure enough he did, feeling warm hands shaking his cold body awake. His body was numb and he wasn't able to open his eyes but he could hear a voice calling his name.

"Harry! Harry wake the fuck up."

He recognized the voice to be his old bandmate Louis'... Someone must have called him to come check on Harry. They hadn't spoken in years but Louis' Los Angles home was just down the road from Harry's, so it would make sense someone called him. But who? Who cared enough to call someone to check on him? He had hurt the last person on this planet that he thought truly still cared about him.

"Harry! Fuck man what'd you do to yourself?"

"Leave me alone, just go", the words took everything Harry had left in him. He wanted Louis to just go, leave him on the cold floor to die, it is what he deserved after all.

"I'm not going anywhere man! You gotta puke this shit up or else I'm gonna have to call someone"

"No.. no... she can't know" Harry suddenly feeling panicked, Kendall couldn't find out about this, it would hurt her even more. She'd blame herself for leaving him, and Harry couldn't have that. None of this was her fault.

"Okay. Then you've got to get up and get those pills out of you're stomach" Louis voice changed from sadness and worry to determinism. Harry knew he wasn't going to leave, but that didn't mean he had to cooperate.

He groaned loudly as Louis lifted him and propped him up facing the toilet.

"Stop..." Harry mumbled weakly, knowing what was coming and hoping to change Louis determined mind.

But of course he didn't, Louis wrapped a strong arm around Harrys waist holding him up, then shoved his index and middle finger as far as he could down Harrys throat.

Harry sobbed as his mouth filled with the vile taste of his vodka infused vomit.

He spent what felt like hours, heaving all the substance of his stomach into the porcelain bowl, with Louis still at his side holding him up and telling him everything would be okay.

Harrys phone buzzed, indicating that his car was here to take him to the hotel. He hesitantly got off his bed, grabbed his wallet and keys off the side table and made his way out the front door. As he passed the living room he quickly detoured to the bar to grab his flask... knowing he would probably need it with the day he had lined up ahead of him.

"Talk to me Haz... tell me why you did this"

"Why do you care? We haven't talked in months, I don't even know how you got in here"

"Key under the flower pot outside the door... same place you always left it. And Gemma called Lottie and Lottie called me, they were worried. Gemma said she hadn't heard from you in a few days. Also said you'd started some new meds that might be fucking with you...?"

"It wasn't the fucking meds"

"Then what was it?" Louis voice adamant but caring. Harry wanted to be alone to drown his sorrows in a bottle, but Louis company felt nice. It was a welcomed intrusion.

"I'm fallin' again" Harrys voice cracked... He knew Louis wouldn't know what he was talking about, they hadn't spoken in moths, Louis probably didn't even know about Kendall. 

"What if I'm out? What if I'm someone she won't even talk about...?" those words, expressing his fear of having lost her forever burned on his tongue. He didn't want to admit that what he had done had broke them forever, and saying those words made it true.

"Harry who?" Louis voice soft and concerning, reminding him of the boy he met 10 years ago. Harry always saw Louis as an older brother, constantly looking out for him and taking care of him. But despite them living so close together, they hadn't seen one another in years.

"Kendall... I cheated on her... She deserved better than me and I knew the only way to get her to leave was by hurting her. But fuck I hate myself for it." Harry was sobbing now, unable to hold back. Knowing that Louis wouldn't leave him but afraid that he would judge him.

" Oh Haz..." Louis wrapped Harrys frail, broken body into his arms and held him as he broke down.