Ruby Red Threads

#03 Rubi

Irina strides to the door, her dark braids fluttering softly behind her. It's been so many hours, but there's still not a strand out of place. "I'll wait for you downstairs," she says haltingly. "Don't take forever." And then she's walking away.

"Thank you," I whisper after her, a quiet ache in my chest, and I fail to mask the longing in my voice.

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I'm presented with an opportunity when I arrive at the staffroom to deliver the notebooks.

There's a register lying open on my homeroom teacher's desk. Feeling unsure of myself, I bend over the book and list out my name, along with Ren's and Akito's, under the heading Volunteers for School Committee (An after-school meet-up group).

Being tethered together by the red string is practically a guarantee for an irreplaceable relationship. There's an established connection between Akito and Ren, and all I need to do is help them become aware of it. And the quickest way to get that to happen is to provide them with opportunities to talk. Considering Ren's Jerkass-ness and Akito's antisocial tendencies, the on-speaking-terms stage may be harder to achieve.

It all boils down to them spending as much time together as possible, and I guess I'm here to make that happen.

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I hurry outside after school lets out. The sun is going down, and the evening light reflects off the vibrant strings in the air, creating a warm blend of red all around me. The blaring colour is easier on my eyes at this time of day, when everyone is dispersing and the sunset doesn't let the additional red stand out like it usually does.

Kurumi-senpai is waiting for me on a wooden bench under a pine tree, and she stands up immediately when she sees me approaching. "Did you—"

"I slipped a note," I manage between heavy breaths, "into his locker. He'll be here. " I know that it's necessary for the two of them to make up now because of Akito, but I still just don't like Ren, and I didn't want to deliver the news to him face-to-face.

She nods stiffly. "You told him that—"

"That you want to speak. Nothing else."

She nods again. "Okay. Okay." Her incessant foot-tapping is kicking up dust. She's obviously nervous about this. Agonised, I chew at my lip. I don't want her to do anything she's not ready for yet.

"Senpai—"

"I had feelings for him once," she blurts out, laughing nervously. I go still. "We used to be close, Rubi—really good friends—but when I confessed to him, he stopped talking to me," she admits shakily, her eyes finally flicking up to mine. "Straight up ignored me for a year. That's why I... That's pretty much it. That's what happened."

"Oh," is all that comes out. Oh is all that I allow myself, because truthfully, I feel an uncontrollable urge to break something right now. My scream could be loud enough to replace the school bell, because that's how mad I am. Because it's all so unfair.

I blink, and suddenly Ren is standing before us in his crumpled school uniform and unkept hair. The bitter feelings are coming together in my chest, hot and white, and I can't really muster much of a facial expression at the moment, so I just look at him.

Senpai is clutching my sleeve, and I wish I could give her hand a squeeze, but I don't want Ren to see any vulnerability.

"Hey," she says, struggling to look him in the eye, and the word lacks all the Kurumi energy that I'm familiar with. I've never heard her sound this weak before, and I hate it so much. "How've you been?"

Ren's eyebrows are furrowed, and he's looking down at her with so much raw emotion in his eyes that I instinctively feel the need to shield her from his gaze. "Senpai," he whispers, his voice pleading as his fingers unconsciously twirl around his piercing. "I'm sorry." So he's cutting straight to the chase.

"This is Rubi," Senpai continues, as if she didn't hear him at all. "She's my best friend." All the thoughts swirling around in my head freeze over, and I glance at Senpai, momentarily forgetting about Ren. Best friend?

I didn't... I didn't realise that she thought of me that way. Something pink and warm glows in my chest, but I chide myself, attempting to extinguish it immediately. It doesn't matter what she thinks. It's not—it can't be true. You can't be best friends with someone you're not tethered to. There's nothing that keeps me tied to Senpai, nothing that would keep me in her life once I've decided to walk out.

That's why it's so unfair. Because Ren has that with her, and that's probably why they're even having this conversation.

Ren doesn't deserve it at all.

His eyes flick towards me for barely a second before they return to Senpai. "I want to talk. Please. Just us."

I'm about to protest, but Senpai beats me to it. "No," she says firmly. "I'll feel better if Rubi's here with me."

His eyes land on me again, brimming with frustration. I glare right back. "Please," he says, his voice stripped bare. I don't let myself waver. "Senpai."

"I want Rubi to be here with me. Whatever it is that you want to say, you can say it to the both of us."

"Fuck." His gaze drops to the ground, his hands shaking as they fist into his hair. "Fuck. Fuck."

I glance worriedly at Senpai when I feel her grip tighten around my arm. She's biting down on her quivering lip, doing her best to look stern, but god, she's near tears. It hits me then that maybe Ren is still important to her, and that's what's making all of this so impossibly hard.

Ren lifts his head without warning, catching us both off guard. "I love you," he says thoughtlessly, and I immediately want to punch him.

Senpai is crying now, grabbing on to me tightly, her tears wetting my cardigan, and I think about telling Ren off when Akito's sombre face and focused eyes flash in my mind. I don't know what to do. I really don't know what to do. This whole situation is so cruel that it's laughable. I hold Senpai close and give Ren a mute glare.

He looks utterly crushed, his eyes wide and panic-stricken. At least he has the sense to keep his hands to himself. "S-Senpai, I'm sor—" he stumbles over a rock and catches himself before taking another unsteady step back. "I'm sorry." He runs away then, leaving her with her tears a second time.

I wrap my arm around Senpai and steer her away. God, he sounded so pathetic. Pathetic but genuine. I'm not blind to that. That's what makes all of this so much worse.

END OF CHAPTER