Ruby Red Threads

#03 Rubi

My heart clenches painfully. Why did it have to be Ren? "Senpai..." I murmur nervously. "Can I ask you something?"

Sensing the tightness in my voice, she tilts her head up at me, giving my palm a reassuring squeeze. "Of course you can, silly."

"What happened with Ren?" I blurt, my heart hammering in my chest, and her smile slips. "It's just...the person that...that Akito likes," I rush in desperately to fill the silence. "I think it might be Ren. They're sort of deskmates now, and I've been watching Akito a lot in class, and...I just have a feeling." I'm risking everything right now. We don't talk about Ren. But I made a promise to her yesterday, and I intend to keep it. I want, with my whole heart, for Senpai and Akito to be happy, and for whatever reason, Ren is soulmates with both of them. He's destined to forever be an irreplaceably important part of their lives.

No matter how undeserving Ren may be, he's all Akito has. It's a take-it-or-leave-it situation, and I want to at least try bringing them together, even if it seems impossible. But I will only go ahead if I know this won't hurt Senpai.

I hold my breath, waiting for an answer. After a moment passes, she pulls away from me, her hands curling in her lap as she soaks my words in. The silence is unbearable. What was I thinking? She's never going to tell me what happened. Of course not. I should have seen it coming. How could she trust someone whose fate doesn't intwine with hers, someone who's insignificant in the long run, with something that's so clearly personal?

After an excruciatingly long wait, she lets her head fall back against the wall with a dull thump. "You're never wrong about these things," she whispers. "So...Akito and Ren, huh?" She laughs, a scratchy sound. "I can't say I saw that coming."

There's a sting in my chest. I'm such an idiot. "Senpai—"

"I think I'm ready to talk to him again," she says suddenly, shifting on the bed to face me. "To Ren. I think it's about time. Will you ask him for me?"

I swallow and nod. "You're...you're sure?"

She smiles, some of the light returning to her eyes, but her voice is weak. "Yeah. I'll do anything if it's for Akito."

I guess I'll be playing matchmaker after all.

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I'm standing near the door to my classroom, spacing out as I wait for Irina to join me so that we can walk to the station together, when my arms suddenly feel heavy, and I blink down at a pile of notebooks I don't remember holding. "Ah—"

"I'm late for club," One of my classmates is saying with an apologetic smile on her face. "Could you take these to the staffroom for me? Please?"

Irina is standing behind her, bag slung on her shoulder, and I desperately look to her for help, but she pretends not to notice. By the time I think to open my mouth, the girl has already taken my silence for a yes. "Thanks! I owe you one!" And then she's gone, and she'll only come to me again when she has more books. You owe me ten already.

I groan softly and throw Irina a look of accusation. "You didn't say no," she points out. "You could have." But I can't. My luck with people isn't good to begin with. I don't want to risk getting on anyone's bad side. Irina throws me a look that says, It's your fault for not paying attention. I press my lips together. I just...I can't help it sometimes.

I hate it inside my head, and it's scary the way these thoughts suck me in without warning. There are so many voices, but none are talking to me. There are so many faces, but the eyes slide past me. The worst, a deafening silence. It's hard to escape from the dizzying void that is my mind, where everyone else is moving on. From me. I'm temporary.