The affair

9.

" Baby, what are you thinking about ?"

Stephanie looked at him in disbelief , weren't we both thinking about death and how it's the last moments we see each other?

" What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

" Because I'm trying to keep myself together and not cry and you're asking me questions like that !" She got offended.

" Like what? Sorry I just wanted to know!"

Stephanie didn't answer to that, Kole could understand Stephanie's grumpiness , but at the same time he could understand himself as well. There was nothing they could do but enjoy. Why couldn't she see that ? He was just trying to help sort her thoughts out and then put a smile back on her face. It's almost like she didn't want it. Like she tried to ruin this on purpose.

" I just don't get it." She said after some time.

" What do you mean ?" Kole looked at her, resting his elbows on his knees.

" How are you so calm, so chilled, how can you relax, you ate lunch without getting sick . It's almost like it's not affecting you."

" I was very hungry..." He hoped he'd make her laugh, but she didn't even move, " S, it's different for everyone. I don't show it but I am stressed, I don't want to lose you."

" But you're not freaking out tho." She couldn't explain it, she just felt it.

" What ?! Stephanie, I'm freaking the fuck out , you really don't see that?"

" How could I see that?" She now turned to him, raising her voice, " All you do is ask me if I'm okay , but you know me so well, and you know that I am not okay. So why would you ask me that?"

" What the hell, Stephanie I care for you, I never want to lose you, I care for you okay ?!" Kole wasn't calm anymore. She was getting on his nerves, all he wanted was peaceful night with her, maybe look up at the stars until their time runs out.

" Don't make me feel like you're the only one who feels like that . I also care for you, I also never , ever want to lose you. I'm scared, I'm so scared Kole you have no fucking clue."

Stephanie started crying even harder than before, is this really how tonight is going to end? It's not going to end with a last kiss but with the last fight ?

" I'm not trying to make you feel like that."

" But I do feel like it ! What can I do ! That's how you make me feel !" She got angrier and angrier, and seeing Kole acting calm didn't help her stay quiet or relaxed . She just wanted to get some other emotion from him, I know I can't force him to show it to me or open up to me, but I need something else than just nodding, asking if I'm okay. Of course I'm not okay. Is he ? Would anyone be okay ?

Stephanie didn't know what got her so mad ,so emotional. Was the call she received from her dad earlier ? Was it listening to him cry and ask her when is she coming home ? Or maybe just the fact that everything she was experiencing now was for the last time ever ?

Kole put his arm around her shoulders and she hid her face , crying and crying, it felt like it would never stop. Stephanie couldn't control it, she couldn't stop crying and shaking. And Kole felt like she's going to break down in his arms, that her small body will break in half, he hated , he absolutely despised seeing her like this.

" We will meet in another life, you know that. We are meant to be." Kole whispered in her ear.

" If there's another life." Steph wiped her tears with her hand, but they kept falling down her cheeks, " Kole we had so many things to do, so many things we had and wanted to do. We didn't , we couldn't, because of the damn time."

There's still time, she had to remind herself, so she could get herself together and be with Kole, maybe even go to some shitty club and try drugs for the first time, so she doesn't remember anything. Funnily enough, Kole had thought about it too, but he thought about suicide , maybe it would be easier to kill yourself than painfully wait for something mysterious to take your life. He didn't dare to tell Stephanie that, she'd get angrier.

" Baby, please." He begged, " Let's stop , let's talk about something else."

She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes again, " Kole, I don't get it , why aren't you stressed or anything... Can you just tell me something else other than the fact you don't want to lose me and you care about me ? I've heard it before , tell me anything different Kole , anything ."

Kole hit his face with his hand , " Stephanie ! What the fuck is wrong with you, " He was yelling now, " I'm freaking the fuck out ! I'm sorry I'm not sobbing like you are, but I'm still hoping we don't have to die, or that we can still laugh or do something fun, instead you're crying and I don't know how to feel !" Stephanie has never seen Kole so mad, she has never felt so attacked before ,and it was all her fault. She turned back to the view and this time cried quietly , looking at the beautiful skies, it got darker with every second , and the sunset was near , just like their death .

Kole regretted his words , his voice tone, I shouldn't have acted that way, I shouldn't have said it.

" I'm sorry Steph, " Kole's voice was back to normal, " I didn-"

" We don't even know what time it is Kole , I can't even call my dad , why did I leave my phone at our hotel ."

" I took my phone with me , you can call him if you need to. " Kole accidentally said it .

" What ?" She was confused, "  You left it at the hospital..."

" You need it no ? So maybe for once say thank you and just make a call?"

" It's not about that Kole."

She got up and brushed her hands against the fabric of her leggings, " Kole, why do you have a phone with you? Why did you lie to me and told me you didn't take it ?"

" Stephanie, sit down, where are you going?"

" Kole, " her tears stopped but it didn't feel like an end, in some kind of way it did, but not for tears,
" Why is your phone with you?"

"Stephanie, please." He stood up .

" Kole, what's going on?"