begbie: *helping spud practice driving*
spud: should i run over those two playing on the street?
begbie: *lifts up sunglasses to see mark and simon* yes
spud: i can't see them, do you know who they are?
begbie: *lowers sunglasses* no
+
tommy: how stupid do they think we are??
spud: sometimes gail just leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list
+
simon: tell mark he's awful and that i hate him
begbie: tell him yourself
simon: i can't, we're in a fight
begbie: you're literally sitting on his lap??
+
mark: *is overdosing*
swanney: FAST! someone call 911!
spud: the number 9 is not working
simon: just turn it upside down and press 6
spud: GENIUS
mark: *stops dying momentarily* what the fuck
+
simon: let's just agree to say "i'm sorry" on the count of three
simon: one, two, three
mark:
simon:
mark:
simon: see now i'm just disappointed in the both of us
+
mark: where were you?
spud: simon was yelling at me
spud: apparently i'm "lazy" and "incompetent" and "spud"
spud: the last one was just my name but you should've heard his voice
+
[police sirens in the distance]
spud and tommy, who have never done anything wrong in their life: oh no, they're coming for us
begbie and simon, the ones they're actually looking for: you better start running
+
simon: *sees a kid crying at the grocery store*
simon: hey little guy
simon: *crouches down to his level*
simon: can you please move? you're blocking the cinnamon toast crunch
+
simon, dropping mark off at the airport: have a safe flight
mark: i have no say in the matter
simon, driving off: die then
+
spud: *sneezes*
begbie: bless you
spud: *sneezes again*
begbie: shut the fuck up
+
simon: hey mark, can you help me with the zipper on these pants?
mark: of course
simon:
simon: up, mark
mark: right. sorry
+
interviewer: what's the first thing you notice when someone approaches you?
simon:
simon: the audacity
+
mark: yesterday i found out that simon's ears go red when he's lying
spud: what? how?
mark: watch this
mark: simon. do you value our friendship???
simon, covering his ears with his hands: no
+
mark: it's really muggy out today
simon: if i go outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn, i'm going to kill you
mark: *sips coffee from a bowl*
+
tommy: begbie talks in his sleep sometimes... it's kind of adorable
begbie, muttering in his sleep: fight me... asshole... square the fuck up...
+
[at the beach]
simon: living my best life
mark: spud is drowing
simon: this isn't about him
