Mine {Book 1}| Completed

Chapter 17: Tell Me You Want Me

    He ran his fingers through his hair in distress even though it was pouring rain. When he used to do that, it was always a turn on. Maybe it still is. But everything I just said was important and also, it's the truth. I've never lied to Christopher about my feelings to him. It was all the truth.

  "The truth is Emma, I don't deserve you." He said.

   "That is complete bullshit. You pushed me away. And you allowed yourself to hurt me. You have the power to hurt me. And I don't think you know how much you hurt me." I said, feeling the tears trying to fall from my eyes.

    I tried turning away from him but he got in front of me before I could go anywhere.

   "I know what I did to you was wrong. And I take full responsibility. And I'm sorry. I just want you to know I've never did anything like that... I mean I'm not a type to be unfaithful. And the way things are...I don't even think April and I are even together. But she says we are. But I am only saying this...I was lying to you, Emma." He explained.

   "What are you talking about? Lying about what?" I asked.

     The rain was still heavy and it was pouring loud down on us. And I just couldn't stand this. I felt like there was so much baggage that couldn't be fixed. And somehow it all goes back to my parents. And it goes to my emotions. And I felt like screaming or crying at the same time. And I could barely speak. My throat felt scratchy and I just couldn't believe anything at this point.

   "I told you when we kissed it was a mistake. I was trying to tell myself that weeks. But after that moment we had together I tried everything I could to get you out of my head. And I did everything. But when I knew you were hurt it hurt me too." He said.

   Oh my god.

     What was he saying? Was he admitting something to me?

   "Christopher, I don't understand." I muttered.

   "It killed me, Emma. It was like I was dying. But after our moment, I was so angry when I saw you with Patrick. Not because he's a player. But I was going crazy over you. And I couldn't have you. Like when I first saw you... I thought you were beyond beautiful and just... fine as anything. And it wasn't because you were just in a towel. But I saw you at the wedding and I thought you were gorgeous. And I know you danced with Patrick. I saw you guys. But I hid from my feelings of you. But I do care about you, Emma. But the second we kissed I was unable to stop thinking of you." He said.

  "How could you?" I whispered softly under my breath.

  "Emma, I'm sorry that I hurt you. And I'm sorry I let my anger get out of control. But like I said you are all I think about." He said.

     I didn't believe him. He obviously is still in love with April. He can't just say that to make up for everything he said and did to me. I scoffed at him and tried walking away from him.

   "No, Christopher. You don't. I can't believe after everything this is your apology after you sabotaged my player boyfriend. And this is your apology. I'm just gonna walk away because I need to be alone right now." I pushed past him and shock was on his face. "And don't follow me." I warned.

    I had definitely just left him there and I assume he was upset with me. I think he felt bummed and knew he messed up. How was I gonna be able to forgive him? So, I just left out of the parking lot in the pouring rain. And as I walked I sobbed out. And the words of memory but hurt and pain came flooding through my ears.

   It's always gonna be April, I heard the voice of Christopher say in my head.

    I cried walking down the street until I heard the car and just like that, Christopher thought he needed to save me. I was stunned that he was trying to get to me. I shook my head at him but he had the passenger window come down.