A Wizards Misadventures

~~Bonus Level Twelve~~

He would stride to embrace her, she would greet him happily, and they would kiss in a fiery romance that would have tales about it sung. Yes, she would be the treasured wife, dragonborn hero of the realm of Nirn and slayer of dragons and he the man whose mere servants (and adorable little sister) slew an army of dragons on their wedding day, making a rain of blood solely to honor her in the hopes of her hand.

The day it rained dragon blood was the most beautiful day of her life. She had never realized it but a dead dragon was the greatest gift somebody could give her. An ocean of blood and the souls of countless great dragons? Her husband had slayed an army and given her the spoils. It was a dowry, plain and simple.

But when she finally arrived in Japan after more than two months travel, dealing with obstacles great and small, learning new customs and honing old ones she hadn't practiced in a long time. When she finally arrived in Japan…

"… Sir? What's that way?" She pointed across the ocean calmly crashing against the shore, wetting the soles of her boots.

"Nani?" he grunted. He was an old fisherman out on the docks just casting his line out.

"Sorry, I don't speak Japanese. It's a long story. What lies across this ocean?"

"Fucking American," he swore. "There lies Hawaii. Island like Japan. Past that stupid American land. Now shoo. You scare fish away and my English shit." The crotchety old man turned back to the sea while Irisai looked across the waters, a slow bubbling rage building in her chest. An ominous laughter escaped her as she plotted how to punish her disobedient husband for RunNinG AWaY FrOM HeR LoVE!

[|||| =-= ||||]

Maine. He was in Maine.

She was wondering if her husband had some sort of horrible flaw that he was ashamed to show her. First he was in one of the Asiatic countries, leading her all the way over there, and then he moved a little farther East… to Maine. What was even in Maine? Raccoons? Snow?

It was practically Canada. Ever since learning of the strange network made of clouds or a foreign energy called wifi she had learned quite a bit, one of those things being that Americans were rude, gun-toting capitalists and that Canadians were nice, mild-mannered folk that really didn't deserve their rich, unruly neighbors. So why go to Maine of all places? It was the rudeness of Americans combined with the weather of Canada dumped in the middle of nowhere… who lived in Maine?!

Whatever the reason for her husband's isolation she would forgive him… probably. A romantic engagement was fine. Divorce was always an option, of course, as was poisoning or a sharp knife, and if he had committed some sort of horrible crime against humanity she wouldn't really care. If he was a troll in disguise she probably would care, but if he could turn into the hunk of man she had burned into her memory most of the time she wouldn't mind so much. She was technically a dragon in the meatsuit of a half elf anyways.

Say, could her hubby give her a dragon body? That would be sweet! Okay, she was totally pissed at him but if he could let her turn into a dragon her love for him would become more than bottomless as it already was. All would be forgiven in a heartbeat. Done deal. She could have crossed the world in like… two weeks if she had Odahviing with her, but flying on her own? Well her husband was a great mage so he could probably do it. No, he could definitely do it and it would be awesome.

But first she had to get there.

Maine was, as expected, full of a whole lot of nothing. It didn't really even have mountains like Skyrim, though it had some tiny ones. It had a fair few rivers and some pretty lakes she drove by, but nothing really outstanding other than nature, and she had seen a lot of nature.