there they go , gilmore girls

viii. kill me now (𝘱𝘵. 𝘵𝘸𝘰)

"I am not being --"

"According to you, I was the one in the family with that gift."

"I never said--"

"I guess you and I are more alike than you thought, aren't we?"

Lorelai raises both her hands and gives up

"You win."

"Thank you." Emily says and walks away.

"Did you get blindsided I'm so sorry. Lorelai says closing the front door.

"That's okay." Rory replies.

"I tried to stop it -- I swear."

"Maybe it won't be that bad. Maybe I'll like it."

"Maybe you will. And maybe mom will come with you." Lauren suggests.

"Yeah mom come with me." Rory agrees.

"Oh, is there a" You're Crazy" team? Because I think they'd make you both captain." Lorelai replies.

"Please" Rory pleads.

"Rory, I love you. I'd take a bullet for you. But I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go clubbing with you."

"Fine."

"I'd rather slide down a banister of razor blades. Land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you."

"Okay okay mom we get it." Lauren says disgusted.

"I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my hand than go clubbing with you. Oh, I'd rather get my face surgically altered to look like that rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you."

"Should I drive so you guys can continue this weird conversation?" Lauren suggests.

"Would you? Thanks." Lorelai says throwing the car keys towards Lauren. "I'd rather cut of my head, use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you."

time skip! at the independence inn

"And you'll walk down here with the swans floating by and the music playing." Lorelai tells.

"What are they doing with those purple flowers?" the girl in the pink dress asks. (idk if she has a name)

"Decorating the bridge."

"I didn't want purple flowers -- I wanted pink."

"And I wanted blue." the other girl in a purple dress says.

"So I thought violet would be a nice compromise."

"We paid for pink flowers." the girl in the pink dress fires back.

"And blue flowers." the other girls adds.

"You did not pay for anything. I told her to decorate with violet flowers. It's very nice of her to try to take the heat for me. If you don't like it, buy your own flowers. Yes, I thought so. Now, go away. My advil is wearing off." the woman says and the two girls walk away.

"Their father spoiled them."

"Oh they're just excited."

"They're spoiled... and they won't move away." After a short silence Lorelai and the woman turn around and walk back.

"What if it rains?" the woman asks.

"We'll put up tents."

"What if it's too windy?"

"We'll secure everything and put extra hair spray in everybody's hair."

"Too hot?"

"We'll use umbrella's and fans that won't cause damage, because the things have been secured and the hair has been sprayed."

"So I have nothing to worry about?"

"Nope."

"Oh, there must be something."

"Listen I have everything under control. Go have a fabulous bubble bath, and I'll send up some wine and a masseuse who bears a remarkable resemblance to Antonio Banderas?"

"How remarkable?"

"Get ready to applaud."

"This is my favorite place in the whole world."

While Michel is handing out baskets with food to the guests Lorelai asks the woman behind the desk to send Rory and Lauren to room 12.

"So any problems?" Lorelai asks Michel.

"With the wedding or my life?"

"I'll give you a hint -- it's not your life."

"Do you stage these events to torture me?"

"Yes."

"Job well done."

"Okay let's start again. Any problems?"

"Guests are checked in, baskets are given out, and 200,000 tons of Jordan almonds have been delivered."

"Okay, good. Did Rory call?"

"No."

"Hmm. She's golfing all day with my father, and I'm half-expecting this big
"save me" call to come in -- you don't care at all. "

"To me you are the teacher in a Charlie Brown cartoon."

"Have the grooms arrived? Their plane was supposed to get in at 7:30. I'm surprised they're not here by now."

"Maybe they made a run for it."

"Ooh, somebody got stood up at the prom."

"Oh.. dear" Michel says looking at the entrance.

"What? Wow!"

"Are those-"

"No it would be too..."

The two girls run towards the two men that just came in and hug them while one exclaims "SCHMOOPIES"

"Weird." Lorelai finishes.

"You kept this from me on purpose." Michel says annoyed.

"It's like a really snooty Doublemint commercial."

"Just let me know when the midgets and clowns arrive."