it's now!

chapter 14

"So, let's start easy, what's your favorite color?" Tay asked me while he still held me firmly.

"It's brown." I said, leaving the part where it became my favorite color the moment I caught the depth inside his eyes out.

"Brown? I think you're the only person I know that likes brown."

"Oh well." I said, chuckling. "My turn. Favorite season."

"Spring." he said almost immediately,

"Why?"

"I just find that everything happens again at spring. Everything has it's own new start so I feel like every spring, I have a chance to start over if something isn't how I wanted it to be."

"That's beautifully said Tay." he just kissed my temple. Sometimes those small gestures mean so much.

"Why did you leave princess?" As soon as those word left his mouth I could feel my body tense. He probably felt it too as his hold on me became more strong, reassuring. I knew this moment would come but I didn't know it would be so soon. I mean, we are in a relationship and communication and trust is what keeps relationship going, but am I ready? I sat up looking straight in front of myself, his hand still on my waist. He sat up next to me, put his legs around mine and pulled me into him so that my back was leaned on his chest. His hands circled around my stomach and I tried to shake the uncomfortable feeling I had knowing that he could probably feel all the extra weight I had on my stomach. "You don't have to tell me. Yet. I do expect to know everything about you sometime in the future though."

"I know Tay, I want to tell you, believe me, I do. But.." I didn't finish my answer, afraid of what he'll say if I do. Afraid od the answer.

"But what?" he said putting his chin on my shoulder.

"But what if I tell you and you leave? What if you leave me?" before I knew he was in front of me, cupping my face and looking me straight in my eyes.

"I would never, ever leave you for something that happened to you. I would never hold your past against you." he kissed the tear that started falling from my eye away. "we will go back to our easy twenty questions now and you'll just tell me when you're ready. And whenever that happens, I'll stay. I will stay princess." The rest of the night is kind of a blur. As soon as those words left his mouth I was harassing him with kisses. I kissed his neck, his shoulder, his jaw, and oh did I kiss his lips. Last I remember is the kiss he gave me at my door while saying goodnight. The kiss was still lingering at my lips as I found myself falling asleep in my bed.

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it's friday, FRIDAY! Do you know what that means? Let me elaborate. I'm going home today!! I mean, I'm going to hang out with Damie and then pick Jen and Gabe on my way back. Oh yeah, Gabe's mom actually let him come after talking to Tessa. She's two years older than us, she's ain't no adult. But if that's what Gabe's mom need for reassurance then sure.

"Why can't you come with me?" I pouted in Tay's chest while he gave me a goodbye hug in front of our building. I was ready to go and I wanted him with me but he was being stubborn.

"No can do princess. The fact that they don't know about me isn't helping either. I want to give you guys some space to catch up, I don't want them to think that I'm stealing their best friend away. I want them to like me." he said the last part so quietly that I barely caught it.

"Are you really worried about that? They'll love you Tay, what are you saying?" I didn't know where this came from, Tay was never the insecure guy, at least in school, he didn't care what other think about us.

"I'm not worried about me princess, I know how I feel and nothing can change that." I furrowed my eyebrows, watching at him confusingly, thinking about his words, it finally hit me.

"Are you insane? You think I'd do that? You think I'd leave you if my friends don't like you?" I get where he's coming from, his mom left, his dad left him, he has a fear of being left behind but does he really think I'd do that do him? At this point I figured that Tay has the right to feel unsure about my feelings, I never tell him anything, I never want to talk about my past, my feelings, my fears. As soon as a serious topic comes around, I change it. So I made the decision to have a night in with Tay next week and tell him a little something, step by step he'll get the full version. I'm still scared of his reaction but something inside of me tells me that he'll stay. And he needs to know that I'll stay too.

"They are really important to you Madison." the feeling in my gut at him calling me my name didn't go unnoticed, he didn't look at me anymore, he watched around, like he's afraid I will be able to see what he's scared of. So, putting my palm on his cheek, drawing his attention to myself, I looked into those beautiful eyes.

"You are really important to me Tay. No matter what, no matter who stands in my way or tries to tell me otherwise, you're what's important. You are what I want." i rose myself and places a gentle and delicate kiss on his lips. "I'm not going anywhere." kissing him again I could feel him smiling into the kiss and that's one of the best feelings I know.

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As I was driving down the town, I was grinning from ear to ear. I was beyond excited to see Damie and my loud singing the songs from my happy playlist could tell you that too. Tay did stay home though, he said he believes me, but still wanted me to have some alone time and that we'll hang when we get back. He was sad that he doesn't get to meet Damie though, but I did promise him that I'll tell Damie about him today. As I made my last left turn I saw the familiar house. Or mansion should I say, the house I grew up in, I just scoffed at it, I don't miss it at all. It's so pretty on the outside and so fake on the inside. I already got used to calling my apartment I had with Tessa my home. Turning the car off, I got out and found myself in front of the door. For some reason it felt wrong to just barge in so I rang the bell and waited for the door to be open. Before I knew it I was pulled in a tight hug by someone who couldn't possibly be Damie with that hight, I've been gone, but not that long gone.

"Oh miss, you're back!" i recognized the voice as Boris, our butler. I loved that man, with my dad often gone for work, he was like a second father figure to me. I squeezed him back, realizing how much I actually missed him.

"No, not back Boris, just visiting." he backed away but still holding me by my shoulders.

"mister Damian is in his room. I will prepare everything needed for your hang out day, I still know the list." He smiled proudly, our hang out list was pancakes, ice cream and chicken nuggets.

"Thank you Boris, always know what I need." I smiled dearly at the gray man standing in front of me, after he returned my smile I let myself in and was walking to Damie's room when I heard Boris's voice once again.

"miss Maddie," I stopped to look at him "you look good, it's good you left." and that was exactly what I needed, a reassurance that I have at least some clue as of what I'm doing with my life.

"Thank you Boris." and with that, I left the man to his job of making this hang out day the best possible.

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THIS CHAPTER ISN'T FINISHED BUT I WON'T HAVE TIME UNTIL THE WEEKEND TO WRITE SO HERE IS A SNIPPET, IT WILL BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 15!
DON'T BE SILENT, TALK TO ME, I LOVE TALKING TO YOU GUYS! I CAN'T WAIT TO FINISH WRITING CHAPTER 15, I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT!
E :)