Colourblind - A Troyler Fan Fiction

Chapter 24 - Hundred

Tomorrow, I thought.

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I sat in the town circle, a place I'd never spent much time in. I had no where to be, I wasn't in any rush. There was no one out to get me. I was in my own comfort zone. This feeling had been dormant for at least a month and a half. I could finally be me again, only this time I didn't have to be so awkward or self-conscious. I'd just gone through so much crap that I was just happy to be done with it. I was thankful to be alive. Tyler hadn't crossed my mind, really, in the past few weeks. I started looking for work, and applying to colleges. I didn't want to waste any time. Life was too short to focus on the unimportant things. I just wanted to make something of myself and enjoy myself. And who the hell said I needed love to make me happy? I mean, sure, I lost my family and my closest friends. I could make new friends. I still had Sage and Steele. And I hadn't been angry or sad in a long while. I mean, I missed what once was but there was no getting it back, so I had to live with it. That was manageable.

I remember the day they buried Robbie. I remember it all too well.

Robbie's mum was reading her eulogy. She'd followed after her husband, who now had his hand placed firmly on her shoulder. Her frail shoulder.

"If there is one thing I'm going to miss the most then it will be every weekday at 3:30 when Robert came home from school and planted a kiss on my cheek, asking how my day was. Most parents raising teenagers don't get that kind of- of love..." She stopped, apologized for crying, and then tried to resume.

I sat there in my seat in the back. I wasn't crying, but that didn't mean I wasn't sad. I wasn't finished grieving for my best friend and truth be told, I didn't think I ever would be. There would always be some part of me that missed him dearly. He died trying to help me live and there was nothing I wanted more than to honor him. I wasn't really invited to the funeral as his parents still thought I had something to do with his death. But, I snuck in to honor my best friend.

His mum finished her eulogy and I saw she was sobbing. His dad had her wrapped in his embrace tightly, his lips pressed to her head.

I watched as they'd lowered the casket into the ground, more tears streaming down her cheeks. I got up and left before I could get kicked out. As I walked away, I prayed for the family and for the rest of the people that were left in my life, hoping they would stay where they were.

I was on my way downtown to my apartment. It seemed things were clearing up faster than I'd expected. My phone vibrated in my sweatshirt pocket indicating that I had a text message. I presumed my walk.

The crowd of people was thickening, slowing my pace down. It seemed like the entire population of the state was here. I bumped into somebody in front of me rather hard, as I'd tripped over my own feet. "Oh, sorry-" He turned around. "Tyler?"

I got mixed feelings when he was around. One, to bash his head in for the ginormous lie. And two, to hug him close and forget about the lies.

"Hey, Troye." Tyler said and started to walk away. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back out of habit.

"Oh, um, how have you, um.. been?" I asked slightly half-heartedly.

"I'm doing just fine." He used his sassy tone.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah," He sighed, waiting for me to stop asking questions. "It's going well. I've been planning to move back to Michigan. All of my family's there, so.."

He was planning on moving? Away... from me?

We stood there in an awkward silence. It felt like someone was throwing knives at my heart. There was a pain that hadn't been felt in some time. Did I still love him, did I hate him? Would it ever be the same?