Swear || a.i [editing in progress]

Chapter 22 "Good Luck"

I haven't heard from Jess in a few weeks.

Ansel is scheduled to pop in a month time and I wasn't ready yet. I was busy getting Ansel's room ready with Elliot, making sure everything was right.

I didn't even have time to call Luke or worry about Jess or even Mom. I was in a huge hurry to be ready.

"I can't believe my baby nephew is coming in a month." Elliot beamed as he hung the spinny-dangly thingy towering over the crib. You know that thing that babies get distracted by.

"I'm scared." I groaned. My heart beat fast every time I thought about pushing a baby out my vagina.

"Don't be. You'll be a great mom." Elliot rubbed my shoulders comfortingly. He's just saying that to comfort me. We both know that I'd drop the baby one way or another.

I gave him a pursed lip smile before walking out of Ansel's room. I needed to go for my second last check up to make sure all the appointments and hospital issues were settled.

And every time, I would wish that Ashton would be there for me.

My phone ringed in my back pocket just as I was about to leave the house.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Calum's voice sounded on the other line. My heart skipped a full beat and I almost crumbled to my knees.

"Uh-"

"I know I'm not supposed to call you but I wanted to hear your voice again." Calum said, guilt evident in his timid voice.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So, are you and Ashton..."

"We're working on it." Calum let out a nervous chuckle.

"Is it affecting the tour or anything?" I asked, hopefully it wasn't. I bit my lip nervously and started to feel anxious.

I wasn't expecting this at all.

"No. Of course not." but he could be saying that just to make me feel better.

"That's good."

Silence stilled on the other line as we waited for either of us to say something.

"I got to go." Calum said finally.

"Wait! I need to tell you something." I thought about telling Calum about Jess but I brushed it off. Maybe now isn't really a good time. Okay it really isn't a good time.

"Nevermind." I shook my head. If I was going to regret. I'd rather regret later.

"Okay then. I'll see you in a month." Calum bade before hanging up.

The line went dead and I took the phone away from my ear. I was going to be late for my appointment but that didn't matter to me now.

I fell onto the floor and started bawling. I cried and cried till my shoulders were shaking and a lump was forming in my throat.

What was I supposed to do? I was scared. I was so fucking scared. I was unprepared,afraid and cowardly.

I was going to mess this up. So many things could go wrong and I had Calum to remind me of it.

"Bay, what's wrong?" Elliot crouched next to me, putting an arm around my shoulder, comforting me.

"I'm so scared Elliot." I sobbed. I needed Ashton. My heart ached for him. For now, I forgot about Ansel and longed for Ashton's arms around my shoulders.

But after whatever is going to happen on their tour, that might never happen.

"Hey Bay, remember when I bullied you when we were little?" Elliot whispered. I sucked in my tears and stared at him.

"Everyday yes." I sobbed.

"I did that because I was jealous of you. I was so jealous of you." Elliot exaggerated. He frowned and sat down next to me.

"Why?" I asked.

"Mom and Dad were so concerned about you! Before you were born, I remember, now I was a kid but I remember Mom and Dad being so afraid and worried." Elliot said.

"Why?" I questioned again. This time, more curious.

"Because they didn't know if they wanted another child! They had to pay bills, take care of me and all that jazz." Elliot laughed, making me smile a little.

"But when you came, you were a beautiful little baby girl with the cutest nose. Mom and Dad threw away their worries, they cared only for you. And things turned out fine."

"Things aren't fine now." I replied simply. Elliot caught what I was saying and sighed.

"But they will be." Elliot looked at me. I was lucky to have a brother like Elliot. He would be there for me if I needed him.

"Now go for your appointment. I'll call you a cab." He patted my back and helped me up.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I silently wished that Ashton would've called me. I needed to hear his voice again.

Oh gosh, how did I even end up here?

In the park.After my appointment.Eating sauerkraut plain. Missing a drummer from the world's biggest band right now.

"Hi Missy. Why are you crying?" A little girl lay her little hands on me gently.

I didn't realize that a few stray tears had fallen from my eyes.

"Oh, it's nothing honey." I replied. She shot me a big toothy smile.

"Where's your mom?" I asked the sweet girl. She didn't look more than 4 and she was running around the park alone.

"Penny!" A lady probably a little older than I was ran over and grabbed the little girl.

"I'm sorry about my daughter." she apologized.

"No it's fine! She's super sweet." I forced a smile.

"Are you okay?" She says a little softer now. I opened my mouth to say something but closed it and shook my head.

"Is it about the baby?" She referred to my belly and cocked an eyebrow.

I smiled embarrassed and nodded.

"Well let me tell you something."She sat on the bench next to me. I could use a little advice right now.

"You will worry now. There are lots of things to worry about definitely." she started, rolling her eyes and making hand gestures while trying to tame her overly excited daughter.

"Especially when you're as young as yourself. I had Penny when I was probably your age." She continued.

"But I can tell you, that when you hold the baby in your arms after the nurses hand him over to you, you feel like the happiest woman alive. Nothing else could beat the feeling of holding your baby. And everything will just go well."

I grinned at her. That advice was like a warm soft palm, cupping my heart, making my chest feel warm and cozy.

I thanked her and gave her one last smile.

"Oh and Bay, you and Ashton look really good together. Good luck!" The lady took her daughter's hand and walked away. Leaving me alone in my own thoughts.

I wished everything was fine.

I got up from the bench and hailed a taxi home. I'm sure everything will turn out fine. That's what everyone says.

I paid the taxi driver and went up to the apartment, twisting the key in the lock and giving the door a little nudge to enter.

"Just in time." the familiar voice sounded. Elliot's shoulders heaved in anger and tears were in his eyes. I dropped everything I had in my hands and held the wall for support.

I felt like screaming and tears were falling from my eyes.

Jess was here.

And she wasn't alone.

"Mom."

-•-•-•

hi bye I love you for reading. and I still think the Calum and Ashton sorting their shit out themselves is a pile of bullshit but hey what's done is done and I'm sorry bye.
-Sam